Remembering an interesting day

I missed blogging about it on the actual day, but October 21st was ‘Back to the Future Day.’  It was dubbed this because in the movie “Back to the Future: Part 2” Marty McFly (played by Michael J. Fox) and Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) traveled to the future.  They jumped forward from the year 1985 to October 21, 2015.  It is comical how wrong the filmmakers were in their projection of how the future was going to be.  Yes, they got some things right (for example, 3D technology was a major presence in Back to the Future’s version of 2015; that one was certainly predicted correctly), but by and large, they were very wrong; I could list 15 examples of this.

One of the aspects of the 2015 in “Back to the Future” that many people found fascinating in the days leading up to 10/21 was the Chicago Cubs.  In the movie, Marty is surprised by an announcement that the Chicago Cubs had won the World Series.  They had swept the Miami Gators to win a world championship.  Incidentally, that’s one thing the film was correct on: when the movie came out there was no Major League baseball team in Miami.  But there is now.  It’s not the Miami Gators, it’s the Miami Marlins.  Plus, the Marlins are a National League team, meaning the Cubs couldn’t play them in the World Series, but still, that’s a point for the writers for getting that prediction correct.

The reason this was so interesting is because in real life the Chicago Cubs were trying very hard to fulfill the “Back to the Future” prophecy.  The Cubs made it all the way to the NLCS (National League Championship Series).  Unfortunately, the Cubs were unable to advance to the World Series.  The New York Mets played the role of spoiler for millions of “Back to the Future” fans by defeating the Cubbies.  Ironically, it was on ‘Back to the Future Day’ that the Mets defeated the Cubs 8-3 to complete a sweep of the Cubs and advance to the World Series.  The fact that they were swept is significant because, once again, in the film the Cubs had swept the Miami Gators.  In real life, they were swept by the Mets.  And sadly, the heartache longsuffering Cubs fans continues.

Another thing that I find fascinating is the team that the New York Mets will be playing in the World Series.  The Kansas City Royals defeated the Toronto Blue Jays to advance to the big game.  The last time the Royals won the World Series was back in October of 1985 (someone may want to point out that the last time the Royals were in the World Series was just last year.  It’s true.  But they haven’t actually won it since the 80’s.).  I’m bringing all this up because my dad was born and raised in Kansas City.  With all due respect to Mets fans, I’m rooting for the Royals.  If Kansas City does win the World Series, it might even make my dad smile in Heaven.  Who knows?

Kevin

A liberating fact

Not long ago, I was reminded of a special episode on the TV show “Home Improvement” starring Tim Allen as Tim Taylor.  John Binford, the man who gave Tim a job as the main star of “Tool Time” passed away unexpectedly.  John was not only Tim’s boss, but he was also a father figure to him.  This was a big deal because Tim Taylor’s dad passed away when he was 11 years old.  Jill, Tim’s wife, grieved by shedding many tears; Tim however wasn’t crying.  Jill was frustrated at Tim’s lack of emotion.  So, as usual when he didn’t know what to do, Tim talked to his faceless neighbor, Wilson (OK, technically he isn’t faceless; but it is true that you never saw Wilson’s face on the show, it was covered from view, usually by the fence).

Tim confessed to Wilson, “When my dad died, I remember being really sad, but I don’t remember crying.”  At one point in their conversation, Wilson said, “Tim, you have to find a way to grieve.”  And Tim did just that.  I find this episode fascinating.  One of the things I think it illustrates is a very important and liberating fact: everyone grieves differently.

In the early days after my dad’s passing, the funeral home gave me a book written by David Kessler entitled “When a Parent Dies: Dealing with the Loss of your Mother or Father”.  At one point in the book, Kessler wrote, “Some of us tend to feel that our way of grieving is the right way.  We think others should grieve like we do.  Regardless of the grief we feel, we usually fall toward one end of the pendulum or the other.  We are either “grieving the right way (our way)” or judging ourselves that we are grieving the wrong way.”

I have encountered some well-meaning people who prescribe what they feel is the correct way to grieve.  No, they haven’t had the audacity to declare, “Kevin, you aren’t grieving correctly,” but they have still sent me the message that I had better experience this and that in my grief, otherwise, something is wrong.  I disagree.  I think this is an incorrect mindset.

If you go down this path, you can easily frustrate yourself because you’ll be tempted to compare yourself with others.  For example, a friend of mine lost his father and he said for a long period of time - five years - he couldn’t bear the thought of hearing his dad’s voice.  This differed from my own grieving experience.  But that doesn’t mean that my friend was wrong and I was right, it simply reinforces the idea that everyone grieves in their own way.  As Kessler put it in another part of the book, “the truth is that our grief is as individual as our lives.”

Kevin

A patently absurd notion

There’s a notion floating around in Christian circles that I don’t agree with.  The concept is as follows: if you are going through a trial, it must be something that you can adequately handle on your own, because God, as the teaching goes, will never give a Christian more than they can bear.  Once again, I disagree with this assertion.  I think such a statement is patently absurd.

The verse that many people quote as proof of this concept is 1 Corinthians 10:13.  This verse reads, “No temptation has overtaken you except as is common to man; but God is faithful.  He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (NKJV).  But this verse is speaking about temptation, not trials.  Let me elaborate.

We are being told that God won’t allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able.  In times of temptation, the promise of the Word of God is, God will make a way of escape (whether we choose to avail ourselves of that escape is another matter, but that’s a blog topic for another day).  My point here is that 1 Corinthians 10:13, and its context, is speaking of resisting temptation, not on the severity of the trials of life.  Make no mistake: God will absolutely allow you to experience trials that are much more than you can bear.

Why should we think otherwise?  Tell Job that God won’t allow you to experience trials that are too much to endure.  Tell the families of the victims who were brutally slain in Oregon earlier this month - in another tragic school shooting - that God won’t allow you to experience a trial that is too much to bear.  Tell this to the couple who will never meet their child because he or she was a stillborn.  Tell this to the widow who enjoyed marriage with the love of her life for forty years, but now has to live life feeling as if an integral part of her as been torn away (yes, I am talking about my mom losing my dad).

I will say it again: God will allow us to go through crushing, intense, unbearable trials; trials that are much more than we can bear on our own.  Why?  To drive us to Him!  C.S. Lewis once said, “Pain insists upon being attended to.  God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” 

Kevin

Contemplating God's protection and presence

Psalm 18:30 says, “As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him” (NKJV).  There’s a lot in this verse, but for today I want to focus on that last phrase: “He is a shield to all who trust in Him.”  I love the idea that God shields us.  The fact of the matter is protection is from God.  The Lord protects us from so much.  We really don’t even know all the ways that we are protected.  In fact, many of us are completely unaware of the numerous ways that God protects us.

H. Michael Brewer, in his book, “Who Needs a Superhero? Finding Virtue, Vice, and What’s Holy in the Comics” tells this story: “One day while sitting at my kitchen table I noticed a praying mantis inside on the windowsill, apparently carried in with some garden vegetables.  The attention of the mantis was fixed on an ant on the other side of the window glass.  The ant crept innocently along the glass on the outside while the mantis stalked it on the inside.  Again and again the mantis lunged for the ant, only to bounce off the glass.  Eventually the ant disappeared from view and the forlorn mantis stared after it in perplexity.  I wonder how many times I have been that oblivious ant while God shielded me from danger I never suspected.”

I’m sure someone has formulated this response to what I’ve said so far: “God is a shield?  That’s a laugh.  Maybe that’s true for some people, but not for me.  God didn’t shield me from the most intense pain and suffering of my life.  Why didn’t God protect me from this?”  If these past few months have taught me anything, they have taught me that the storms of life can unexpectedly rock your world in ways you never thought it could be rocked.  Trust me I know pain and suffering in a way that I never did before.

Therefore, let me state this clearly: the verses that speak of God being a shield does not mean that God will magically protect humanity from all pain, tribulation, or hardship.  The Bible is very clear that living on this planet actually means just the opposite; it means facing difficulty, adversity, and heartache.  For just one example of this, read John 16:33; Jesus said, “In this world, you will have trouble.”

H. Michael Brewer, in the same book that I quoted from before also wrote: “Surely we cannot claim that God always protects the faithful from pain and death.  A skeptic may claim that God’s protection is like a cheap insurance policy that only covers us when we don’t need it.  But even if God doesn’t exempt us from every calamity, this doesn’t disprove the reality of God’s shielding presence in life.”  Later on in the same chapter, he writes, “God may not always stand between us and the storm, but at the very least God will always stand beside us through the storm.”

That’s what I hold on to.  I don’t naively think that something is wrong because I’m experiencing distressing circumstances (that’s just a byproduct of living on Earth).  I’m holding on to the truth that God is always with me.  In Isaiah 43:2, God says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”  Jesus declared, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  Psalm 23:4 asserts, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.”

Kevin