Thoughts as a birthday milestone looms

A few weeks ago, I began to contemplate a series of blogs I would write to highlight my upcoming 45th birthday.  I was going to submit several blogs that would have concepts that are particularly relevant to me, almost like mini-blogs, if you will.  They would start with the letter A, and I would go all the way to the letter Z.  To clarify, I am going to begin presenting said 'mini-blogs' in just a second.  However, because my life is what it is, the 'A to Z, several blogs leading to my birthday thing' is probably too ambitious (I think I joked last time that I only manage to produce one blog a month!); therefore, I will likely only make it from A to F.  Even so, I’m pleased to do so.

A: Adventure.  The first concept is adventure.  Interestingly, today as I was putting the final touches on this content I was chatting with my mother about this very idea.  My life is a wonderful adventure, filled with turbulence, but that is OK.  Why? Because God is in complete control of it all.  Rebecca St. James once put it better than I ever could; “Adventure.  Just that word puts a sparkle in our eyes, a big smile on a face, I know it does for me…some people who don’t understand Christianity think that the Christian life has to be boring…but I believe the Christian life is the most incredible adventure.  Because think about it: our future is in God’s hands.” 

B: Blessing of family.  Each of these could be a full blog, and I could definitely go on and on with this one.  Cary A. Friedman wrote a great little book called “Wisdom from the Batcave”.  In a chapter called “The blessing of family”, Friedman writes, “It is a sad reality that few of us appreciate our blessings until they disappear.”  Then later on, he states, “Blessings that go unrecognized go unappreciated.”  With the passing of my father, I have seen firsthand that a day with a loved one is a gift to enjoy, and never take for granted.

C: Church leaders.  To this very day, God has guided my family and I to sit under truth from solid men of God – shout out to my current pastor, Pastor Kyle!  But I want to bring up pastor Rick Ferguson.  A man of God who God used tremendously in my family’s life, and lots of others as well.  He unexpectedly passed away in 2002 at the age of 46.  In his last sermon, Rick said just four words explained the entire Christian life; those words are these: “Not I, but Christ.”  I echo that.  If anything noble or praiseworthy comes from my life, I assure you it’s not because of me; it’s because of God and His transforming grace in my life.

D: Dreams.  I recently heard a tremendous talk by Christian filmmaker Alex Kendrick.  God has used him to make such incredible films as “Facing the Giants”, “Fireproof”, and “Overcomer”.  He made this statement: “Dying to something is so good for you.  Because sometimes God allows your dream to die so He can resurrect it His way…He’s good at resurrecting things; that’s what He did as we went into the movie ministry.”  Candidly, I have dreams.  To die to them is acutely painful, obviously.  But I trust God to do with them as He sees fit.

E: Example.  Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man has inspired me since 2002 when I saw part 1 of the trilogy, and he continues to do so even to this very day.  In 2004’s “Spider-Man 2” Peter is ready to give up his superhero duties, tossing his Spidey suit in a dumpster.  Enter Aunt May.  May gives Peter a beautiful speech on heroism.  She says heroes like Spider-Man are “courageous, self-sacrificing people, setting examples for all of us.”  Her words encourage Peter to take up the fight again, no matter how difficult.  Fascinatingly, some suggest that Aunt May actually knew Peter was Spider-Man.  Maybe, maybe not, but if that’s true, it adds even more emotional weight to their conversation.  

F: Faith over fear.  Having been through various storms, I have learned firsthand that it is very easy to succumb to fear.  To clarify, there is legitimate fear, such as choosing not to touch a hot stovetop out of fear of being burned; however, there is also crippling fear.  This is where we are bombarded with “what ifs” and the worst-case scenario.  2 Timothy 1:7 has become a verse of comfort and strength to me; it states, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”   

God bless,

Kevin

Bringing my "hard fought hallelujah"

As I prepare to compose my monthly blog installment (I’m being sarcastic; I begin this way to vent my frustration at just how little I get to write these blogs of late), I just want to stop and publicly express my gratitude to God.  Psalm 4:8 states, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone make me dwell in safety.”  Every day is a gift from the Lord to enjoy.  This doesn’t mean that there isn’t trouble and suffering along the way, but through it all, I’m grateful for the life He has given.

The first time I heard Brandon Lake’s song titled “Hard Fought Hallelujah” (released back in 2024), I confess I didn’t really resonate with it.  Yes, I knew suffering, but Lake describes the suffering with gut-wrenchingly honest lyrics, and I just didn’t relate to his words.  Here’s a sampling of his work, for example:

“There’s days when a praise comes out easy, and days when it takes all the strength I’ve got.  I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt, been-through-hell, hallelujah.  I’ll bring my storm-tossed, torn-sail, story to tell hallelujah.  God, you’ve been patient.  God, you’ve been gracious whatever I’m feeling or facing.  So I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt, it-is-well, hallelujah.”

I might not have resonated with this song initially, but I can tell you that this is one of my anthems now.  As I look back over these past months, one episode of suffering after another has occurred.  Recently I endured another chapter of suffering; I’ll never forget just how deeply intense it was – and incidentally, it’s too fresh to get into now.  Nevertheless, I do feel as if I can say to the Lord, “I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt, been-through-hell hallelujah.  I’ll bring my storm-tossed, torn-sail, story to tell hallelujah.” 

One of the verses that I’ve held on to in the midst of all this is the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 27.  Psalm 27:13, in the NKJV, reads, “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of living.”  Amen to that!  I have seen darkness, uncertainty, and pain, but praise the Lord, I have also seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living again.  However, it doesn’t always come right away, and that’s why it’s interesting to note that the next verse, Psalm 27:14, states, “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.  Wait, I say, on the Lord.”

Another stanza of the Brandon Lake song I brought up earlier goes as follows: “I’ve wrested with the darkness, but I’m trying to reach for the light.  Yeah, the struggle keeps me honest and it breaks down the walls of my pride; ‘cause faith isn’t proven like gold ‘til it’s been through the fire.  Yeah, yeah.  My head, heart, and hands are feeling heavy, and that’s when I lift them a little higher.” 

God bless,

Kevin

A profound question

Someone recently asked me who my favorite superhero is; I answered Spider-Man.  Later, this person asked which version of Spider-Man is my favorite, and I said the Tobey Maguire-led films (incidentally, both answers thrilled this person).  Did you realize that the first Spider-Man film will be celebrating its 25th anniversary next year?  It’s true.  It was May 3rd, 2002 that “Spider-Man” was released.  This realization absolutely shocked me – and made me feel old.  Tobey’s Spider-Man inspires me to this day.  To quote Peter Parker’s own words when he was talking to Mary Jane Watson, his example helps me “know what kind of man [I] want to be.”  I am an unashamed fan of the whole trilogy (yes, even “Spider-Man 3”, although I know it had some glaring issues).

At this point, you know I could become a fanboy and talk about this beloved superhero movie in such precise detail it would become tiresome after a while.  So let’s not do that.  However, that said, there’s an important quote to help springboard us to a vitally important topic.  It was actually in another Spider-Man universe (2012’s “The Amazing Spider-Man” with Andrew Garfield), where Peter Parker’s teacher makes quite the statement.  She said, “I had a professor who liked to tell his students that there were only 10 plots in all of fiction.  Well, I’m here to tell you he was wrong.  There is only one: “Who am I?”

That’s a profound question.  It may inspire me to hear Tobey Maguire speaking these final words of “Spider-Man”: “Whatever life holds for me, I will always remember these words: ‘with great power, comes great responsibility.’  This is my gift, my curse.  Who am I?  I’m Spider-Man.” (Cue Danny Elfman’s “Spider-Man” theme song, as the end credits roll)  But who am I?  Who is this person writing to you in this blog today in 2026?  This brings me to a wonderful sermon that Jonathan Evans once delivered.  In it, he brought up another film as an illustration; it was so powerful I want to visit it with you today. 

Evans spoke of the film “The Lion King”; in the movie, Simba was excited to follow in his father, Mufasa’s footsteps, and rule as king one day, but his Uncle Scar, murdered his own brother; Mufasa was dead, and to make matters worse, Scar lied to Simba and said that it was Simba’s fault he was gone.  This led to decades of Simba running away from purpose and responsibility.  “But then” as Jonathan Evans described it in the sermon, “his father came back to [Simba] to remind him… ‘You need to remember who you are.’  And then it reverberates, ‘remember, remember, remember,’ that’s when I got goose bumps.” 

Simba, as Jonathan Evans so eloquently put it, “remembers that he is a child of the king.”  This inspired him to face his painful past; doing so leads to discovering the truth: he was not responsible for his father’s passing.  Ultimately, Scar is defeated, and Simba takes his place as king.  Now, at this point, I do want to state this clearly for the record: I am grateful for the godly example of both my father and mother.  I miss my dad to this moment, and I want to walk in his footsteps.  And frankly, I can’t imagine my life without my mother.  Ultimately, however, who I am isn’t answered by my heritage.  So, who am I?  I’m Kevin.  I’m a child of the King, through faith in Jesus.  

God bless,

Kevin

Easter Monday - 2026

It seems inconceivable to me, but it was in March of 2016 – 10 years ago – that the film “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” was released.  I can envision you saying, “I’m not sure I want to think about that movie.” (Fair enough.  It’s a rather controversial film.  Some like it, some hate it.  If you were asking my opinion, I think it’s a pretty good, but certainly not great movie)?”  I bring this up today because there’s a line from this film that always plays in my head whenever I hear a certain song.  Since we sang it at my church yesterday, I knew how to start today.  The line in the film is when Batman coldly asks Superman, “Tell me: Do you bleed?”  The song is “Song of Suffering” by Matt Redman.  Here’s a sampling:

“Oh, the perfect Son of God, in all His innocence, here walking in the dirt with you and me.  He knows what living is.  He’s acquainted with our grief.  Man of sorrows, Son of suffering.  How can it be?  There’s a God who weeps; there’s a God who bleeds.”  Oh, praise the One who would reach for me.  Hallelujah to the Son of suffering.”

The disciples of Jesus Christ had been through the worst kind of suffering; they just witnessed someone they loved die.  Jesus was (and is) the God-man; He was/is “a God who bleeds.”  Further, Jesus had repeatedly predicted that He was going to die, but that He would resurrect from death, yet for whatever the reason, they simply did not understand this.  They had been through the worst pain in their entire life.  They assumed that now the party was over; the dream had died because their rabbi had died.  But everything changed on Easter morning, Resurrection Sunday.

One of my favorite accounts of Jesus interacting with His disciples after He arose from the tomb was His interaction with Thomas.  I’m going to just hit and run on this today, but Thomas flat-out refused to believe that Jesus rose from the grave until he saw it for himself (John 20:25).  And so Jesus, full of grace and compassion, showed Himself to be alive, beyond all doubt.  When Thomas saw this, he made an incredible statement, he says, “My Lord and my God” (John 20:28)!  Jesus replies, “Thomas, because you have seen Me you have believed, blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed” (verse 29).  I’m in that group, and I am indeed blessed.

The dust has settled on the Easter celebrations.  We are back into a normal routine; it is Easter Monday, if you will.  I wonder if someone reading this is still on the fence regarding this resurrection of Jesus thing.  If that’s you, I submit Jesus’ words to Thomas to you, just as He showed Thomas his scars to prove His conquering of death, He said, “Do not be unbelieving, but believing” (John 20:27).  Maybe you’ve done a ton of research into the life, ministry, and resurrection of Jesus.  You’ve seen the evidence and yet you’re not ready to commit your life to Jesus.  I’m telling you from personal experience the best thing you can do is give your life to Jesus.  Surrender to Him.  John 1:12 says it this way: “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.”  Or maybe you’ve wandered away the Lord.  Run home to Him today.  He’ll welcome you.

God bless,

Kevin

Thoughts at Holy Week - 2026

Does anyone feel misunderstood sometimes?  If so, take comfort in the knowledge that Jesus Christ knows exactly what that is like.  I know I missed talking about Palm Sunday on the actual day, but I wanted to begin today with it.  Palm Sunday was actually a bittersweet day for Jesus.  Jesus Christ entered Jerusalem on a donkey; the crowd was enthusiastically chanting, “Hosanna!  Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord” (Mark 11:9).  However, they had the wrong expectations for what Christ had come to do.  So much so, just a few days later, this same crowd was chanting, “Crucify Him” (Mark 15:13-14).  Is it anyone wonder that on Palm Sunday, Luke records that on that donkey, Jesus was crying (Luke 19:41).  Once again, Jesus knew all about being misunderstood.

Recently I had the opportunity to re-discover a fine devotional book by Kristin Parrish titled “No Cape Required: Ways to unleash your inner hero”.  I’ve enjoyed getting reacquainted with the content, as I haven’t read it for years.  I might even blog about some of it later on, but for today, it was the introduction of the book, written by Jefferson Bethke, that caught my attention.  Let me give you a few snippets:

“There is this real peculiar moment toward the end of Jesus’ public ministry where he is talking to the gatekeepers of his day and he quotes a Hebrew psalm by saying, “Have you never read in the Scriptures: ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes’” (Matthew 21:42).  I’ve always been one to pick up on awkwardness in situations…But what Jesus was getting at was they might have been extremely studied in the Old Testament and its prophecies about this messiah figure God has promised – but they couldn’t even see the King himself, living, breathing, and talking right in front of them.”

“But to some degree you can’t blame them.  Everyone in their particular context was looking for an earthly political or military rebel leader to rise up and take down the pagan empire of Rome and establish God’s reign and rule.  They expected a hero.  What they got did not meet their expectations…They wanted Superman, but it looked like they got Clark Kent instead” (italics in original).  This quote captures the irony of Palm Sunday.

Jesus’ own disciples misunderstood Him.  They expected that the time had come for Jesus to throw off the Roman oppressors, but He came to, as He put it, “give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).  Days later, one of His own betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.  This led to a kangaroo court, and ultimately Jesus was condemned to die an excruciating death by means of crucifixion.  You or I would never have chosen to write the story this way, yet this was all part of the sovereign plan of God. 

Tomorrow is Good Friday.  Let me return to Jefferson Bethke’s words in his introduction of the book “No Capes Required” as he has powerful words coming.  I already cited part of this, but here we go. “They expected a hero.  What they got did not meet their expectations…They wanted Superman, but it looked like they got Clark Kent instead.  In that last sentence, though, lies the beauty and mystery of this Jesus from Nazareth.  The beauty of Clark Kent is that he is Superman.  And while people may have called Clark names and thought he really didn’t do much, he was also the one truly saving the day and bringing salvation to Metropolis even though he didn’t get the credit as Clark.”

[He continues] “In fact, most people thought Jesus lost at the Cross, but looking back we see that was the moment of his ultimate victory.  In that dark, violent, crushing event he exhausted the powers of evil, brought them on himself so that his people didn’t have to.  He saved the day, not how people wanted, but he did save the day.  And he invites us into this peculiar way.  This upside-down kingdom.”  

Let me conclude with by quoting 1 Peter 2:24-25, which says, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness…For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

God bless,

Kevin

Looking back on a difficult year

March of 2025 was the month that a horrendous saga began.  This year has taught me many things, one of which is it’s easier to be the patient in the hospital, than to see someone you love laying in the hospital ER room.  One year later, thankfully, the crazy chapter seems to have concluded (although who knows what tomorrow holds?).  However, I can declare to you that memories of this year can easily haunt me.  Did you know that Batman’s greatest villain, the Joker, once said a statement that I can relate to now?  In the controversial comic book “The killing joke”, Joker said, “Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes.”  Honestly, I hesitated sharing this.  But when I was in a restaurant a few days ago, waiting to pick up my lunch, a painful memory from this past year washed over me, for some reason.  It confirmed that I needed to share that quote.

At this point, it’s important to be reminded of the truth that is so vitally important: God is in control.  Nothing happened to me this year that was accidental.  I could quote several Bible verses here, but there is a powerful verse tucked away in Psalm 103.  Psalm 103:19 says, “The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.”  Robert and Nancy DeMoss Wolemuth, in their tremendous book “You can trust God to write your story” puts it this way:

“Where would be without the certain knowledge that “He’s got the whole world in His hands” and that every detail of our lives is ordained by our all-wise, all-knowing, loving God?  Far from being a crushing burden to be borne or diminishing our value, the Providence of God is a great and precious gift.  To be helpless victims of chance, tossed about on the storms of life – that would be forever disconcerting and tragic.  Thank God it is not the case.”  

In conclusion, I’ve previously described how, in the epic CW crossover event “Crisis on Infinite Earths”, Barry Allen A.K.A. The Flash from Earth 90 saved the day, by stepping up and sacrificing his life.  Just today, in preparation for this, I watched the clip of this moment again on YouTube; his selflessness inspired me afresh.  However, I’ve never shared how, a few minutes before his noble act of heroism, he said some words that are profound and relevant to today’s subject matter.

Barry said this: “Sometimes…you’ve got to take a couple steps back, reverse the way you see the situation, and see the bigger picture.”  He is on to something.  In my case, yes, difficult memories from this past year can hit me; it’s easy to just focus on the pain and suffering.  But when I “reverse the way” I see the situation, when I change my perspective, I find myself humbled and grateful for how God consistently showed up during this very difficult time.  In fact, I want to stop here and give God all the praise, worship and glory for being with me during those insane days.  Through it all, God experientially taught me the truth of Isaiah 43:2: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”

God bless,

Kevin

"Blessed be Your name; on the road marked with suffering"

Here’s an interesting scenario: what do you say, as your introduction, when you haven’t written anything in nearly 3 months?  Do you quickly assure that you are, in fact, alive and well, even though many have probably wondered?  By the way, if that’s you, God bless you for your concern; yes, I am alive.  I thought about being silly about it by quoting the opening lines of 2002’s "Spiderman".  To re-introduce myself, I considered citing those iconic words from the beginning, where Tobey Maguire says, “Who am I?  You sure you want to know?  The story of my life is not for the faint of heart.”  ‘I’m Kevin Bauer,’ I might have said.  ‘I am storm-tossed, and probably not even the same man I was before; at this point, I’m a little older and wiser, but I am Kevin Bauer.’

Regardless of the introduction, I shake my head in amazement at the unexpected chapter that I have been in for a year now.  Matt Redman, in his classic song “Blessed be Your Name” puts it better than I ever could; “Blessed be Your name; on the road marked with suffering, though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be Your name.”  Later on, he sings this to the Lord: “You give and take away.  You give and take away.  My heart will choose to say, ‘Lord, blessed be Your name.’”

I imagined what I would say if you and I were able to sit down over a cup of coffee or something.  At some point in our conversation, as we were able to get caught up, I would bring up Jesus’ words in Matthew 7.  In verses 24-27 of Matthew 7, Jesus mentions two houses.  In both cases, Jesus says, “the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew” (verses 25 and 27).  Note with me that the storms hit either house.  In another place, Jesus said “it rains on the just and the unjust”.  The storms of life will inevitably hit.  But Jesus says that only one house stands; the one “founded on the rock” (Matthew 7:25).  Maybe at this point in our conversation I would declare that I have been storm-tossed, the winds and the floods have been pounding on my house; but, glory to God, the house is still standing, because Christ is my foundation, my rock.

At this point, I need to reiterate what I stated briefly after the “Spider-Man” quote earlier.  This chapter in my life has changed me; in many ways, I don’t feel like I’m the same person that I was a year ago.  I’m not sitting here claiming to be some perfect little angel.  No, in fact, God has used this season of my life to show me things about myself that needed to change – but that’s a whole other blog entirely.  The point is, as the Psalmist put it in Psalm 119: “It is good for me that I’ve been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes” (verse 71).

God bless,

Kevin