The ministry of grief

I’ve been told that one of the interesting aspects of this blog is that there is a wide variety of subjects that I bring up.  This is evident just in looking at the last few blogs that I’ve written.  I do have a lot of interests.  But when I started this blog back in 2011, I never would have thought that one of the subject matters that I would tackle is my own personal grief.  My father’s unexpected passing turned my world upside-down.

To lose someone that you love is excruciating pain.  For me, it was the most intensely painful season of my life.  And that pain never really goes away; you just adapt and get used to the aching hole that the departed loved one’s absence leaves in your life.  But there’s another interesting phenomenon that occurs when you lose someone you love: stories of other people’s loss hits you differently.

For example, on September 11th, we commemorated the fifteenth anniversary of the horrible events of 9/11/01.  Before the Patriots/Cardinals game kicked off on Sunday Night Football, they played the recorded thoughts of President’s George W. Bush and Barack Obama.  President Bush’s words in particular gripped me.  He spoke of how for so many it was just another day of football, but for the thousands of people who lost loved ones that horrendous day, 9/11/16 was a very difficult day.  I was hit with a wave of emotion and near tears at that thought.  I instantly resonated with the intense emotional pain of those families.

Recently I learned of another loss.  My sister-in-law’s Grandma passed away a little over a week ago.  I didn’t have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with her (just at a few family get-togethers), but I know the agonizing pain that is gripping my sister-in-law and that whole family who loves her.  Incidentally, if you are a praying person, please keep them in your prayers.

Did you notice my blog title today?  I called it 'The ministry of grief.'  What I mean by that is because God helped me trudge through my intense grief, I now have a responsibility to turn around and help others in their grief.  2 Corinthians 1:4 says that God “comforts us in all our troubles so what we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”  By the way, I know from personal experience that one of the best ways I can do this is to cover the mourning with prayer.  Not to try to offer concise explanations or try to force them to just get over it and move on with life.  There is no quick fix when it comes to losing someone you love.  Grief takes time.

Kevin 

Contemplating Spider-Man 4

Here’s an interesting trivia fact: after Spider-Man 3, Tobey Maguire, Kirstin Dunst, and Director Sam Raimi all planned on returning to make Spider-Man 4.  And why not?  Each of the Spider-Man movies were huge blockbuster hits.  This film was to have Anne Hathaway as Felicia Hardy; John Malkovich was in talks to play the Vulture; and Dylan Baker was finally going to make his transformation from Curt Conners into the Lizard.  But after several script rewrites, the film was ultimately abandoned in 2010.

In the words of Sam Raimi: “I wanted to make Spider-Man 4 to end on a high note, the best Spider-Man of them all.  But I couldn’t get the script together in time.”  So he went to Sony Pictures and announced, “Go ahead with your reboot, which you’ve been planning anyway.”  Thus the Andrew Garfield era was ushered in.  I’ve included the link where I got this information, should you be interested.  I personally would have loved to have seen Spider-Man 4.  I was disappointed that it never made it to the big screen. 

http://spiderman.wikia.com/wiki/Spider-Man_4_(cancelled_film) 

So what might have happened in Spider-Man 4?  I don't mean the Sam Raimi version of the film with the Vulture.  That's off the table.  We do, however, get a palatable answer from You Tube of all places.  There are people on You Tube who upload fake trailers for movies.  I have to confess that I generally don’t care for these fake, fan-made trailers.  However, I really liked one submitted by someone named smily179 for Spider-Man 4.  In it, we are introduced to a future for Peter Parker and Mary Jane that is quite plausible.  It is as follows:

After the events of Spider-Man 3, Peter and Mary Jane get married.  They eventually have a son and name him Harry, in honor of Peter’s best friend Harry Osborn.  Years pass.  Harry Parker (played by Andrew Garfield, which is a brilliant idea) is now a teenager.  But a dangerous mercenary named Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) has come to learn of Peter Parker’s secret identity.  To draw him out, he attacks those closest to Peter (including the shocking and tragic murder of Peter’s Aunt May).  

Peter knows he has to stop Deadpool, but he doesn’t have to do so alone.  Peter’s son, Harry, seeing his responsibility, decides to fight by his father’s side. Harry Parker actually has spider abilities as well (presumably they were reproduced from Peter) meaning Deadpool contends with two Spider-Men.  In my mind, after Deadpool is defeated, Peter retires and passes the torch to his son. Like father, like son!

What an imaginative and creative idea for a film!   I have to give credit to smily197.  Even though there’s never going to be a Spider-Man 4 film, this fan-made trailer for a non-existent movie gave me the closure that I didn’t even really know I needed for the Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man era.  

Kevin 

Contemplating Spider-Man 3

Next year – 2017 – the film Spider-Man 3 will celebrate its ten-year anniversary of being released.  This is astounding to me.  I still vividly remember the first time that I watched this movie in theaters with my brother.  It certainly doesn’t seem like this film is that old already, but it is.  To commemorate this fact, I wanted to talk about this film.  I know I could do this next year, but I figured now was as good a time as any.

Whenever I talk about Spider-Man 3, I have to make this disclaimer lest I lose all credibility as a superhero enthusiast: Spider-Man 3 is far from the greatest superhero movie.  This Spider-Man installment has noticeable warts and flaws.  The film is too long.  There are too many characters.  And there are way too many story lines – Harry Osborn’s amnesia, for example, should have been eliminated from the final script.  I could mention more, but you get my point.  This isn’t an unblemished superhero flick by any stretch of the imagination.

 

But, blunders of the film notwithstanding, I still firmly believe that there are praiseworthy elements to this movie as well.  In fact, back in 2013, I wrote a two-part blog that I entitled “6 things I love about Spider-Man 3”.  So check that out, if you are so inclined.  Having given the introductory material let me dive in to the main content.

 

One of the main story lines in this film is how a mysterious black, alien goo (officially called a “symbiote”) bonds with Peter Parker.  At first, Peter loves the increased power that the suit gives him.  But the symbiote’s influence makes Peter/Spider-Man darker, angrier, and more violent.  In preparation for this blog, I watched portions of this film again, and it struck me how the black suit seems to be a metaphorical indication that the host is harboring bitterness, rage, and unforgiveness.  This was certainly the case for Peter for most of the film.  But it’s true of another character named Eddie Brock.

Eddie Brock is an interesting study (to say nothing of the fact that he was portrayed by Topher Grace; something that angered many fans).  Eddie Brock is Peter’s Parker’s rival.  The previous photographer of the Daily Bugle had quit, and both wanted to fill the vacant spot.  The editor, J. Jonah Jameson, issues a challenge: whoever can bring in a photograph of Spider-Man as the menace of the city that Jameson believes Spidey to be, that person will be rewarded with the job.

Brock resorts to trickery and deception; he doctors a fake photo of Spider-Man in the throes of crime.  Peter, still in black at this point, rightfully exposes Brock’s plot, but he does so with much more vengeful hate than was necessary, even going so far as to call Brock “trash.”  Spidey is exonerated, but he has gained an enemy.  The next time we see Eddie Brock, he goes to a church.  He is so angry, he actually asks God to kill Peter Parker.  Ultimately, just after Peter rejects the suit, the symbiote bonds with Eddie Brock, creating one of Spider-Man’s most formidable opponents: Venom.  Incidentally, he is never once referred to as Venom, a fact of the movie that still really bothers me to this day.  But I digress.

In the exciting conclusion, one can clearly see Eddie/Venom’s rage toward Peter.  For example, at one point, he essentially tells Peter, “You humiliated me, now I’m going to humiliate you.”  Once again, as I said before, the black suit is an indication that the person is harboring vengeance and unforgiveness.  This whole thing was a simple matter of revenge for Eddie.  He could have let the whole matter drop, but he never did.  I think this conveys an important truth: while we can’t live without being hurt, we don’t have to be like Eddie Brock; we can choose to let it go.  We can choose to forgive.  That’s why I love the ending scenes of Spider-Man 3.  Forgiveness is extended on multiple occasions; it is beautiful and glorious to see.

Kevin