More thoughts on my recent difficult chapter

Several years ago – 2005 to be exact – I heard an interview with Rebecca St. James.  In it, she mentioned a difficult time that she had gone through.  She cited several facets of her painful storm, and then she made this statement: “It was literally like every single comfort zone in my life was taken away.”  I bring it up here because her words came to my mind as I attempted to capture the way I felt regarding my recent difficult chapter of sickness, followed by excruciating physical pain.

What is an example of a “comfort zone” that I felt was “taken away”?  Well, I have already mentioned how I couldn’t write anything for a period of time, due to it hurting too much.  You can tell how important of an example that is from how often I’ve mentioned it.  I’m happy to be able to return to writing again, even though there is still lingering pain as I do so.  But another development also occurred; to be honest, I feel a little uneasy about sharing this, but it’s another legitimate example, and it’s authentic.  So here it is.

During my recent illness, I decided to stop drinking soda pop.  I realize this may not seem like a big deal to you, but I used to drink this beverage almost every day, since way back to when I was a small boy.  Sporadically, I tried to have a few sips but it would only give me a headache.  So I knew I was going to have to give it up.  After nearly four decades of drinking pop, the thought of being without this comfort zone actually caused me to mourn.  You may want to tell me that I’m better off without it.  While I admit that you are absolutely right about that, it was still a sad development to me.

Let me return to that interview with Rebecca St. James for a minute.  She had been through a fiery trial.  But she went on to state that she had reached the point where she could look back and thank God for it because of the valuable lessons the Lord had taught her through it.  I am able to echo the same thing regarding my recent trial as well. 

Furthermore, the biggest point I’m trying to make today is when it seemed as if “every comfort zone in my life was taken away” to quote Rebecca again; when all I could do was cry out to God just to get through the day, I discovered a valuable lesson.  This was something that I knew intellectually but now I know it experientially: when you have the God of the universe by your side, you have everything you need!

In conclusion, I had a mental scene of us chatting about our various troubles.  And you said to me, “Kevin, I’m glad you are slowly getting to be on the mend.  But, the fact of the matter is I’m going through a very hard trial myself.”  You would then proceed to share your woes.  If that’s the case, please know that I am empathetic to your plight.  I hope you are helped by this quote from Corrie ten Boom.  She once said something that I had not heard until I came across it in preparation for today’s blog content.  She observed,

“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw the ticket away and jump off.  You sit still and trust the engineer.”  I want to encourage you – and I continue to remind myself of this – when you don’t know which way is up, and all you can see is the dark, trust in God. 

Kevin       

Walking through a difficult chapter...with God

I am so happy to return to blogging!  The adage “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” is true.  Previously, no matter what was going on in my life, I could always lose myself in my writing.  However, because I was in such excruciating pain in my wrist and hand, I was unable to post anything.  But let me back up and give the full story.

Back in late November, I had a bad upper respiratory illness.  It was so intense that it actually kept me off work for longer than I have ever been in my adult life.  After a bout with this respiratory ailment, then a sinus infection, followed by miserable side effects from strong antibiotics, I was ready to return to the land of the living!  Today, I’m able to work, but I still have pain in my lungs/rib cage.  A recent x-ray showed that I have no signs of an infection anymore.  But the doctor said I will still have some lingering pain, and it is true.

And then in January, the severe pain in my shoulder, wrist, and hand began.  It has been the worst pain of my life.  The simplest of activities hurt me; from opening a door, to turning the key to my car ignition to start the engine, to putting a coat on or taking it off.  (Frankly it even hurts to write this blog now, but the pain level is slowly decreasing – and I’m taking breaks!).  My chiropractor’s assessment is when I was sick, I coughed so frequently that I actually threw my body so far out of alignment that it resulted in this awful pain.

My purpose in bringing all this up is to testify to God’s faithfulness through it all.  The Lord has used this strange time to bring up things in my life to the surface that shouldn’t be there.  For instance, I used to think that fear was something that I was essentially immune to, except for brief moments that were just blips on the screen.  But God showed me areas of my life where I have let fear grip my heart for much too long.  Isaiah 41:10 has become a new favorite verse of mine.  Here God says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you.”

Even though I could keep writing (I’ve missed it, can you tell?), let me begin to wrap this up for today.  I was deeply impacted by a Christian song called “Fires” in this difficult chapter.  It was written by Jordan St. Cyr.  At one point in the song, he sings to the Lord, “You’ve walked me through fires, pulled me from flames; if You’re in this with me, I won’t be afraid.  When the smoke billows higher…and it feels like I can barely breathe, I’ll walk through these fires, cause You’re walking with me.” 

Jordan and his wife have been through the fire.  In November of 2018, their daughter was born with a rare and severe brain condition.  Jordan’s attitude inspires me: “We know more than ever that God is with us and He always will be.  He has made us stronger and He has grown our faith in ways that we never thought was possible.  He’s taken the hardest parts of our story to refine our hearts and draw us closer to Him” (Source: https://freeccm.com/2020/10/06/behind-the-song-jordan-st-cyrs-shares-the-heart-behind-his-song-fires).

1 Peter 5:10 says, “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”  An “amen” belongs here!

Kevin 

Ten years!

Today is a very special day.  It was on this day, in 2011, when I first launched this blog.

As I thought about what to do to commemorate this event, the Lord laid a sermon on my heart.  I have heard a lot of sermons in my life, but this one is certainly in the top five of my list.  It was preached by Michael Youssef.  Dr. Youssef is the founding pastor of the Church of the Apostles in Atlanta, Georgia.  Interestingly, it was also in 2011 when he preached a sermon titled “When God’s plan for our life differs from ours”.  This sermon gripped my heart from the first time I heard it all those years ago, and it still does to this day. 

His text was Acts 16:6-10 where we are told about one of Paul and his team’s missionary journeys.  Acts 16:6 says that as they were on their way to Bithynia, God told them not to go there, instead they were to go to Troas.  At first, the team didn’t have a clue why God wanted them to make this detour in their plans.  In verse 9, while in Troas, they had a vision: someone from Macedonia was pleading with them to come and help them.  I looked at a map in the back of my Bible and discovered that Macedonia would have been much too far out of their way had they gone to Bithynia. 

The point Dr. Youssef was illustrating is there are times when God, in His perfect wisdom, has His followers go in a direction that makes no sense to them, but ultimately His will and way is always best.  I would love to quote so much great content that Youssef said in that sermon.  But, let me give this one quote.  He said,

“Every time I became disappointed with God’s plan for me; every time I became angry with God that I could not get my own way…I look back and realize how foolish it is!  I look back and find myself thanking God every single day that He did not allow me to have my plan.  You see, in the long run, His plan is far superior…In hindsight, I am so grateful that He blocked my plans, and stopped me from going the way I wanted to go, because His is much better.”  I love his transparency and candor!  Moreover, I’ve lived long enough to know that Dr. Youssef is absolutely right.

In conclusion, I love the song by Jonathan Traylor titled: “You get the glory from this”.  It is my heart’s cry regarding this blog, and my entire life’s journey.  With Traylor, I sing these words to God: “You get the glory from this.  No matter what I have to go through in this world, as long as You get the glory from it.  Tribulation; persecution; my affliction, You get the glory from it.  In my weakness; in my brokenness; in the crushing, You get the glory from it.  On the mountain top; in the valley low; You are in control.  You get the glory from this.  On my good days; on my bad days; I will still say, You get the glory from this.  You get the glory from this.  Please get the glory from this.”  

Kevin

The power of hope

Happy New Year, everyone!  My plan was to post this blog on New Year’s Day – or even New Year’s Eve – but as per usual, life took over.  So without further delay, let’s dive right in.

I’ve been thinking about a memorable episode from the TV show “Lois and Clark” starring Teri Hatcher and Dean Cain.  In the fourth season of the series, Howie Mandel guest starred as an imp from another dimension named Mr. Mxyzptlk (Mandel pronounced it “Mix-yez-pit-lick”).  Incidentally, Howie Mandel, the “Deal or No deal” host, was so good in this role.

While one may have trouble with this character’s name, his plan was diabolical.  He planned to eliminate hope by placing the entire world in a time loop.  In a storyline similar to the film “Groundhog Day” after several hours, time itself reverted back to 12 noon.  But in an intriguing twist, whenever it did loop back, humanity lost a little bit more of its hope.  Mxyzyptlk himself put it this way: “Superman is the symbol of hope.  If you take away hope, he’s the symbol of nothing.  In a world without hope, he’s powerless.  Take away tomorrow means there’s no hope for tomorrow.”

It was fascinating to see the decline of hope as the time loop persisted.  Humanity was losing hope.  Many were growing despondent, angry, and in some cases suicidal.  And so Mxyzyptlk showed up and presented Superman with an offer.  In a pivotal scene, the imp says if Superman will leave Earth forever, he will remove the loop.  The Man of Steel refuses to leave, and asserts that there is always hope.  

This powerful moment actually releases Lois from the time loop.  “I could feel you rejecting hopelessness,” she says to him.  “It hit me like a wave.”  The two of them work together to restore hope to humanity, and they subsequently trick Mxyzyptlk to say his name backwards, which banishes him back to his dimension.  I love the episode because it illustrates an important principle: the power of hope.  And how devastating it is when one doesn’t have it.

2020 was a tough year.  It’s a year that I will never forget, and neither will you.  There were challenges in it that no one would have predicted.  But, even still, I have hope in my heart.  Not because we have concluded 2020 (after all, 2021 will have its challenges as well).  I have hope because the God of the universe is holding my hand, and He won’t let me go.  He is in absolute control.  Like Superman in that episode, God will never leave me or forsake me.  He will fight for me, even when I can’t fight for myself (to quote Riley Clemmons and her song, “Fighting for me”)

In conclusion, Romans 15:13 is a verse that God has riveted on my heart; it says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Amen and amen!

Kevin