Walking through a difficult chapter...with God

I am so happy to return to blogging!  The adage “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” is true.  Previously, no matter what was going on in my life, I could always lose myself in my writing.  However, because I was in such excruciating pain in my wrist and hand, I was unable to post anything.  But let me back up and give the full story.

Back in late November, I had a bad upper respiratory illness.  It was so intense that it actually kept me off work for longer than I have ever been in my adult life.  After a bout with this respiratory ailment, then a sinus infection, followed by miserable side effects from strong antibiotics, I was ready to return to the land of the living!  Today, I’m able to work, but I still have pain in my lungs/rib cage.  A recent x-ray showed that I have no signs of an infection anymore.  But the doctor said I will still have some lingering pain, and it is true.

And then in January, the severe pain in my shoulder, wrist, and hand began.  It has been the worst pain of my life.  The simplest of activities hurt me; from opening a door, to turning the key to my car ignition to start the engine, to putting a coat on or taking it off.  (Frankly it even hurts to write this blog now, but the pain level is slowly decreasing – and I’m taking breaks!).  My chiropractor’s assessment is when I was sick, I coughed so frequently that I actually threw my body so far out of alignment that it resulted in this awful pain.

My purpose in bringing all this up is to testify to God’s faithfulness through it all.  The Lord has used this strange time to bring up things in my life to the surface that shouldn’t be there.  For instance, I used to think that fear was something that I was essentially immune to, except for brief moments that were just blips on the screen.  But God showed me areas of my life where I have let fear grip my heart for much too long.  Isaiah 41:10 has become a new favorite verse of mine.  Here God says, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you.”

Even though I could keep writing (I’ve missed it, can you tell?), let me begin to wrap this up for today.  I was deeply impacted by a Christian song called “Fires” in this difficult chapter.  It was written by Jordan St. Cyr.  At one point in the song, he sings to the Lord, “You’ve walked me through fires, pulled me from flames; if You’re in this with me, I won’t be afraid.  When the smoke billows higher…and it feels like I can barely breathe, I’ll walk through these fires, cause You’re walking with me.” 

Jordan and his wife have been through the fire.  In November of 2018, their daughter was born with a rare and severe brain condition.  Jordan’s attitude inspires me: “We know more than ever that God is with us and He always will be.  He has made us stronger and He has grown our faith in ways that we never thought was possible.  He’s taken the hardest parts of our story to refine our hearts and draw us closer to Him” (Source: https://freeccm.com/2020/10/06/behind-the-song-jordan-st-cyrs-shares-the-heart-behind-his-song-fires).

1 Peter 5:10 says, “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”  An “amen” belongs here!

Kevin