An important final word in 2021

There are some blogs that I don’t particularly want to write, but I will anyway.  This is one of those blogs.  The fact of the matter is 2021 is a year that I will never forget.  And it’s not memorable for a positive event, either.  Several months ago now, someone chose to use their words to viciously attack me.  These words cut me so deeply.  The verbal assault wounded me so intensely.  I actually feel as if this episode has the potential to haunt me for the rest of my life (now you see why I wasn’t too happy about writing about this today).

So the question is this: how does one recover from arguably the greatest verbal belittling in 40 years of life?  My answer is one you’d likely expect: forgiveness.  Stay with me here because I’m not just giving you the Sunday school, Christian answer.  I know what unforgiveness will do to my heart.  It will destroy me from the inside out; it will turn me into a shell of myself.  I honestly believe the only way to be free from a devastating experience – like the episode I’ve brought up – is to choose to forgive. 

Before I proceed, let me present two cautions.  Number one: forgiveness doesn’t mean you are a doormat for someone.  I want to be a forgiving person, but I still need to have wisdom and discernment.  I think of domestic abuse, for example.  If a person is in such a situation, they need to get out and not look back.  Incidentally, forgiveness can be extended, but that doesn’t necessarily always mean it will lead to reconciliation.  Sometimes reconciliation is not a possibility.

Secondly, it may surprise you to note that the Bible never once gives us the admonition to “forgive and forget”.  Repeatedly we are told to forgive but forget is never attached.  I think there’s a good reason for that; I will never forget the painful episode I’ve been referring to.  Something will trigger it, and it is back at the forefront of my mind and emotions.  But when it does, I make the decision once again to forgive.

Ephesians 4:32 is such a powerful verse; it reads: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  That’s an important key when I contemplate this subject: “as God in Christ forgave you.”  Since I’ve been forgiven by God for my wrongs, how can I refuse forgiveness to others?  While I was putting all of this together, Jesus’ words on the cross washed over me in a fresh way.  As He was hanging in agony, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). 

In conclusion, I know this was heavy today.  At one point, I thought about trying to put in something humorous to lighten it up.  It was very hard to write.  My purpose in presenting what I have is this: if you have been harboring unforgiveness towards someone who hurt you deeply, realize the only liberation is found in forgiveness.  Life is too short to spend it holding a grudge.

Kevin