Looking back on a difficult year

March of 2025 was the month that a horrendous saga began.  This year has taught me many things, one of which is it’s easier to be the patient in the hospital, than to see someone you love laying in the hospital ER room.  One year later, thankfully, the crazy chapter seems to have concluded (although who knows what tomorrow holds?).  However, I can declare to you that memories of this year can easily haunt me.  Did you know that Batman’s greatest villain, the Joker, once said a statement that I can relate to now?  In the controversial comic book “The killing joke”, Joker said, “Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes.”  Honestly, I hesitated sharing this.  But when I was in a restaurant a few days ago, waiting to pick up my lunch, a painful memory from this past year washed over me, for some reason.  It confirmed that I needed to share that quote.

At this point, it’s important to be reminded of the truth that is so vitally important: God is in control.  Nothing happened to me this year that was accidental.  I could quote several Bible verses here, but there is a powerful verse tucked away in Psalm 103.  Psalm 103:19 says, “The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.”  Robert and Nancy DeMoss Wolemuth, in their tremendous book “You can trust God to write your story” puts it this way:

“Where would be without the certain knowledge that “He’s got the whole world in His hands” and that every detail of our lives is ordained by our all-wise, all-knowing, loving God?  Far from being a crushing burden to be borne or diminishing our value, the Providence of God is a great and precious gift.  To be helpless victims of chance, tossed about on the storms of life – that would be forever disconcerting and tragic.  Thank God it is not the case.”  

In conclusion, I’ve previously described how, in the epic CW crossover event “Crisis on Infinite Earths”, Barry Allen A.K.A. The Flash from Earth 90 saved the day, by stepping up and sacrificing his life.  Just today, in preparation for this, I watched the clip of this moment again on YouTube; his selflessness inspired me afresh.  However, I’ve never shared how, a few minutes before his noble act of heroism, he said some words that are profound and relevant to today’s subject matter.

Barry said this: “Sometimes…you’ve got to take a couple steps back, reverse the way you see the situation, and see the bigger picture.”  He is on to something.  In my case, yes, difficult memories from this past year can hit me; it’s easy to just focus on the pain and suffering.  But when I “reverse the way” I see the situation, when I change my perspective, I find myself humbled and grateful for how God consistently showed up during this very difficult time.  In fact, I want to stop here and give God all the praise, worship and glory for being with me during those insane days.  Through it all, God experientially taught me the truth of Isaiah 43:2: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”

God bless,

Kevin

"Blessed be Your name; on the road marked with suffering"

Here’s an interesting scenario: what do you say, as your introduction, when you haven’t written anything in nearly 3 months?  Do you quickly assure that you are, in fact, alive and well, even though many have probably wondered?  By the way, if that’s you, God bless you for your concern; yes, I am alive.  I thought about being silly about it by quoting the opening lines of 2002’s "Spiderman".  To re-introduce myself, I considered citing those iconic words from the beginning, where Tobey Maguire says, “Who am I?  You sure you want to know?  The story of my life is not for the faint of heart.”  ‘I’m Kevin Bauer,’ I might have said.  ‘I am storm-tossed, and probably not even the same man I was before; at this point, I’m a little older and wiser, but I am Kevin Bauer.’

Regardless of the introduction, I shake my head in amazement at the unexpected chapter that I have been in for a year now.  Matt Redman, in his classic song “Blessed be Your Name” puts it better than I ever could; “Blessed be Your name; on the road marked with suffering, though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be Your name.”  Later on, he sings this to the Lord: “You give and take away.  You give and take away.  My heart will choose to say, ‘Lord, blessed be Your name.’”

I imagined what I would say if you and I were able to sit down over a cup of coffee or something.  At some point in our conversation, as we were able to get caught up, I would bring up Jesus’ words in Matthew 7.  In verses 24-27 of Matthew 7, Jesus mentions two houses.  In both cases, Jesus says, “the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew” (verses 25 and 27).  Note with me that the storms hit either house.  In another place, Jesus said “it rains on the just and the unjust”.  The storms of life will inevitably hit.  But Jesus says that only one house stands; the one “founded on the rock” (Matthew 7:25).  Maybe at this point in our conversation I would declare that I have been storm-tossed, the winds and the floods have been pounding on my house; but, glory to God, the house is still standing, because Christ is my foundation, my rock.

At this point, I need to reiterate what I stated briefly after the “Spider-Man” quote earlier.  This chapter in my life has changed me; in many ways, I don’t feel like I’m the same person that I was a year ago.  I’m not sitting here claiming to be some perfect little angel.  No, in fact, God has used this season of my life to show me things about myself that needed to change – but that’s a whole other blog entirely.  The point is, as the Psalmist put it in Psalm 119: “It is good for me that I’ve been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes” (verse 71).

God bless,

Kevin