Bringing my "hard fought hallelujah"

As I prepare to compose my monthly blog installment (I’m being sarcastic; I begin this way to vent my frustration at just how little I get to write these blogs of late), I just want to stop and publicly express my gratitude to God.  Psalm 4:8 states, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone make me dwell in safety.”  Every day is a gift from the Lord to enjoy.  This doesn’t mean that there isn’t trouble and suffering along the way, but through it all, I’m grateful for the life He has given.

The first time I heard Brandon Lake’s song titled “Hard Fought Hallelujah” (released back in 2024), I confess I didn’t really resonate with it.  Yes, I knew suffering, but Lake describes the suffering with gut-wrenchingly honest lyrics, and I just didn’t relate to his words.  Here’s a sampling of his work, for example:

“There’s days when a praise comes out easy, and days when it takes all the strength I’ve got.  I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt, been-through-hell, hallelujah.  I’ll bring my storm-tossed, torn-sail, story to tell hallelujah.  God, you’ve been patient.  God, you’ve been gracious whatever I’m feeling or facing.  So I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt, it-is-well, hallelujah.”

I might not have resonated with this song initially, but I can tell you that this is one of my anthems now.  As I look back over these past months, one episode of suffering after another has occurred.  Recently I endured another chapter of suffering; I’ll never forget just how deeply intense it was – and incidentally, it’s too fresh to get into now.  Nevertheless, I do feel as if I can say to the Lord, “I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt, been-through-hell hallelujah.  I’ll bring my storm-tossed, torn-sail, story to tell hallelujah.” 

One of the verses that I’ve held on to in the midst of all this is the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 27.  Psalm 27:13, in the NKJV, reads, “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of living.”  Amen to that!  I have seen darkness, uncertainty, and pain, but praise the Lord, I have also seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living again.  However, it doesn’t always come right away, and that’s why it’s interesting to note that the next verse, Psalm 27:14, states, “Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart.  Wait, I say, on the Lord.”

Another stanza of the Brandon Lake song I brought up earlier goes as follows: “I’ve wrested with the darkness, but I’m trying to reach for the light.  Yeah, the struggle keeps me honest and it breaks down the walls of my pride; ‘cause faith isn’t proven like gold ‘til it’s been through the fire.  Yeah, yeah.  My head, heart, and hands are feeling heavy, and that’s when I lift them a little higher.” 

God bless,

Kevin