Valentine's Day musings

I’m not sure where this phrase actually originated, but somebody somewhere once called Valentine’s Day “Singleness Awareness Day” (or SAD, get it?) and the term stuck.  Why is it given this designation?  As a single, I can answer that from firsthand experience: Valentine’s Day, as our culture celebrates it, is a day that highlights romantic love.  Thus, because I’m not in a romantic relationship right now, as Valentine’s Day quickly approaches, it makes me aware of my own singleness.  And, yes, to be honest with you, if I’m not vigilant in my thinking and in my attitude, contemplating a Valentine’s Day without a significant other can definitely make me sad.  I suspect that many other men and women without a Valentine this year could join me in this declaration.

But even those who are in committed relationships can find Valentine’s Day very frustrating.  Why?  Well, the pressure is on to provide your significant other with an incredible day of expressions of love and romance.  What I mean is there is an undeniable expectation to show your special one just how much they mean to you on Valentine’s Day, and if you fail to do so, it can easily lead to having the holiday ruined for both of you.  (Incidentally, let me add this before moving on: don’t succumb to the pressure of needing to have “the perfect Valentine’s Day” because this is much too high a standard.  If you have this mindset, you effectively set yourself up for disappointment.  Enjoy and appreciate whatever you get, but don’t expect perfection.  One other thing: please remember to express acts of love and romance to each other on other days as well, not just on Valentine’s Day).

 

I chased a few rabbit trails for a moment there, but the main point I’m trying to make is the cultural expectations for Valentine’s Day are immense.  Whether you have a Valentine this year or not, this holiday can easily set you up for misery, sadness, and depression, if you let it.  You say, “Kevin, you’ve painted quite a bleak picture so far today.  What do you propose as an alternative?”

 

I submit that Valentine’s Day shouldn’t just be a celebration of the fact that you are in a romantic relationship.  Valentine’s Day should be more than that.  It should be a celebration of all the love you experience in your life.  For example, the love a parent has for a child.  Or the love a brother or sister has for their siblings.  How about this one?  How about celebrating the reciprocal love you have with your friends?  And finally, yes, this would certainly include the love between a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband and wife as well (if applicable).

Furthermore (and most importantly as I see it), I think Valentine’s Day is also an excellent opportunity for us to stop and be reminded afresh that the God of the universe has a pure, fervent, sincere love for all of humanity.  “For God so loved the world,” Jesus states in a familiar passage from John 3, “that he gave his only Son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (verse 16).  1 John 3:16 tells us, “This is how we know love: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.”  Romans 5:8: “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.”  This Valentine’s Day season take some time to ponder God’s love for you as well.  Contemplate how He displayed the most incredible act of love for you when He died on a wooden cross. 

Kevin