"On the road marked with suffering"

Someone has said, “Pain can either make you bitter or better.”  I don’t know who said those words, but they are true.  I have experienced distressing pain.  Someone is thinking, “Here he goes.  He’s going to talk about the death of his dad again.  Learn a new song, would you?”  I say two things in response to that.  #1: Losing someone you love is a horrendous pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  It’s pain unlike anything I’ve ever gone through before.  So it is not unreasonable for me to keep on bringing it up in this blog, nor is it unreasonable for me to use it as an example of legitimate human suffering.

Secondly, while the pain of my dad’s passing and the aftermath of that event lingers on, I am actually referring to something else.  You see, earlier this week a fresh new dose of suffering was unexpectedly inflicted on me.  I’m not going to share the specifics, but it’s sufficient for me to say that it was another traumatic episode.

I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me.  I’m simply trying to get you to understand that with my dad passing away – and this new development in my life – pain, suffering, and heartache are not just words on a computer screen in a blog.  They are words that describe my life.  I have been, to quote from a popular Matt Redman song, “on the road marked with the suffering.”

So having said all of that, let me return to where I started: someone said, “Pain can either make you bitter or better.”  It’s so true.  Pain can easily make you a cantankerous, hard, unpleasant person.  It can make you a mere shell of the person you once were, if you are not careful.  Or it can hone you into a better person.  It can make you more empathetic, compassionate, and loving.

 

In conclusion, let me add that you can make the choice to let God use your pain to shape you to be a better person, but that doesn’t mean that you banish bitterness away from your doorstep forever.  In my experience, there’s a very real ebb and flow to this.  It’s two steps forward and one step back.  As I say, that’s certainly been the case for me.  Pain and suffering isn’t fun.  Be patient with yourself.

Kevin