Musings on honoring Mom and Dad (part 1)

A wise pastor once said, “Holidays that revolve around relationships are risky.”  It’s true.  Whether you are talking about Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. you could potentially be confronted with painful emotional issues.  For instance, you may be facing your first Mother’s Day since she unexpectedly passed away.  Or, perhaps you have an estranged relationship with your mother.  I’m not ignorant or unsympathetic of the anguish that could be churning either in your heart or in the heart of someone close to you.

Without making light of any of these aspects, I want to present God’s standard.  The Bible says, “Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 5:16).  Today, I want to bring up some of the theological notions regarding honoring Mom (and Dad), and then tomorrow, I plan to narrow my focus to honoring my own dear mother.

To begin with, what does it mean to honor your father and mother?  Got questions.org is such an invaluable website to consult.  They have an article on this; let me quote part of it:

“Honoring your father and mother is being respectful in word and action and having an inward attitude of esteem for their position.  The Greek Word for honor means “to revere, prize, and value.”  Honor is giving respect not only for merit but also for rank.  For example, some Americans may disagree with the President’s decisions, but they should still respect his position as leader of their country.  Similarly, children of all ages should honor their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents “deserve” honor.

God exhorts us to honor father and mother.  He values honoring parents enough to include it in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) and again in the New Testament: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).  Honoring parents is the only command in Scripture that promises long life as a reward.  Those who honor their parents are blessed (Jeremiah 35:18-19).  In contrast, those with a “depraved mind” are those who exhibit ungodliness in the last days are characterized by disobedience to parents (Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2)” (Source: https://www.gotquestions.org/honor-father-mother.html).

I could go several different directions with this subject matter, but this same article goes on to ask exactly how a parent is to be honored.  “Obviously, we are commanded to honor our parents, but how?  Honor them with both actions and attitudes (Mark 7:6).  Honor their unspoken as well as spoken wishes.  “A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke” (Proverbs 13:1).  In Matthew 15:3-9, Jesus reminded the Pharisees of the command of God to honor their father and mother.  They were obeying the letter of the law, but they had added their own traditions that essentially overruled it.  While they honored their parents in word, their actions proved their real motive.  Honor is more than lip service.  The word “honor” in this passage is a verb and, as such, demands a right action.”

To conclude, there is one last question I want to pose.  We’ve already read verses from Exodus 20 and Ephesians 6 that speak of this concept of long life being given as a reward; but we also know the good can certainly die young.  So what are we to make of this?  Once again, got questions.org is helpful:

“First, yes, the promise is true, but not in a universal sense.  There are people who honored their parents but died young.  And there are people who did not honor their parents but lived a long life.  Therefore, it is a principle that is generally true.  If you honor your parents, God will, generally speaking, reward you with a long life.  However, this promise does not override other decisions we make that impact how long we live.  For example, if a man honors his parents, but then decides to commit suicide, the act of suicide “negates” the reward of long life.  The same can be said of those who engage in reckless or dangerous activities.  God’s reward for long life for honoring parents does not miraculously make you immune from serious injury or death.” (https://www.gotquestions.org/long-life.html).  Nobody, whether young or old, is guaranteed tomorrow, so let’s esteem our parents while we still can.

Kevin