Thoughts on a deferred hope (part 3)

 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” – Proverbs 13:12

Today is the conclusion of the blog series on Proverbs 13:12.  I wanted to remind you that this subject matter has been personal and applicable to me.  In fact, I’ve tried to emphasize that God has primarily been working on me with this content.  I hope it has been as beneficial for you as it has been for me!  Let us proceed.

#3: A hope deferred is an opportunity to trust God 

I’m sure a question has been plaguing you for two blogs now.  What if that hope is deferred forever?  What if marriage is never going to be on the table?  What if the healing never comes?  What if that dream of a newborn baby is never realized?  What if this covid-19 craziness lingers on for months or years?  I never want anything I write here to come across as detached or uncaring.  But particularly today I want to emphasize that I answer this with compassion and empathy for the personal pain you may be feeling today.

The fact is I don’t know what will happen regarding your deferred aspirations (or mine for that matter).  However, I do know this: unmet dreams are acute opportunities to demonstrate trust in God; and the truth that His way is always the best way.  The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).  Not that this is always easy.  I recently read a sermon from a pastor that was transcribed online.  I was blessed by his words.  At one point, he stated,

“So here is what I want to challenge you to do in this season of suffering, be it today or some time down the road; I want you to declare your trust in God.  Here’s what that means: that every day…you can be dead level honest with your heavenly Father and say… “I have to pick up the pieces of this dream; I’m not really excited about what’s going on here.  But at the end of the day…I still trust you.  I’m not happy; in fact, I’m very, very sad.  But…above everything else, I declare my trust in you.”  When you do that, it’s one of the most significant moments of worship you will ever give your heavenly Father.”  (Page 3 from - http://www.linglestownlife.org/filerequest/2551.pdf)

One of the things that I want to be a part of my legacy when I’m home in Heaven is I trusted in God’s will and plan for my life, no matter what.  But, once again, this isn’t always easy.  I’ve often found my plans and dreams don’t line up with what God intends for my life.  Proverbs 16:9 is so true: “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”

Therefore, I want to conclude this blog series with a small portion of lyrics from the excellent song “Even if” by the group Kutless.  This is my heart’s cry, and perhaps it is for you as well: “Even if the healing doesn’t come; and life falls apart; and dreams are still undone; You are God, you are good, forever faithful One.  Even if the healing, even if the healing doesn’t come.  Lord, we know Your ways are not our ways.  So we set our faith in who You are…You’re still the great and mighty One, we trust you always.  You’re working all things for our good; we’ll sing Your praise.”

Kevin 

Thoughts on a hope deferred (part 2)

 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life” – Proverbs 13:12

Previously, I began sharing some of my thoughts on Proverbs 13:12; a verse that could actually be considered rather depressing.  “A longing fulfilled” might very well be “a tree of life” but too often, I tend to focus on my hopes or dreams yet unfulfilled.   Perhaps you can relate.  Let’s dive in again, and continue on.

#2: A hope deferred is suffering

As I was putting this content together, I came across the story of the “hope deferred” in the life of the Smallbone family.  It blessed me, and I hope it does the same for you.  In 2012, Luke Smallbone (of the Christian group For King and Country) was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a life-threatening and debilitating disease.  Soon he had to stop touring and focus on recovery.  He was, as Luke himself puts it, “bed-ridden and being take care of like a child.”

The Smallbone family dealt with this for several years.  Courtney Smallbone, Luke’s wife, is the one who took care of Luke during this time.  She is vocal and transparent about her emotions during this time.  She states candidly that she was angry at God for not healing Luke.  She knew that God certainly could have instantly healed him, yet it wasn’t coming.  My guess is if someone had quoted Proverbs 13:12 to her during this season, she might have burst into tears!  

Luke shares how during one particular night he cried out to God in desperation.  He relays it in this way, “I was in such desperate need of comfort.  As God has a way of doing, He turned that moment into a moment I will never forget.  I felt Him say, ‘Luke, no matter how dark things might be today, no matter how difficult things might become, no matter what you’ll face in life, there is always hope in me.’”  (Information from https://www.geneva.edu/blog/faith/for-king-and-country-faith)  I confess even if no one else needed this reminder of the message of hope in God today, I did!

Finally, in 2017; a 5-year journey, Luke and Courtney heard what Courtney calls “The R word – remission!”  Today, Luke is healthy.  As was stated before, Courtney shares how initially, she was angry at God, but the Lord began to change her heart and attitude.  Ultimately, she had this to say about the entire horrific ordeal:

“I’m thankful that the Lord chose this way to heal him.  Because it healed a lot more than just healing his body; it healed a lot of emotions.  It strengthened our marriage.  It strengthened our family.  It touched many lives.  So He had a bigger plan.”  (Incidentally, I wish I could share more of Courtney’s words with you.  They impacted me.  But you can hear her thoughts from this you tube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enZOTYnkwxg)

To conclude, initially, I was just going hit and run on this point and move on.  But God seemed to have other plans for the blog today.  God willing, I will continue with the third point next time.  I was also gripped with the prospect that someone reading this is reeling from your painful reality.  Maybe – like the Smallbone family was – you are longing for physical healing.  Or maybe you’re struggling with infertility, or a miscarriage.  I don’t know the specifics of the intense pain of your story, but God does.  He loves you, and He is with you every step of the way.

Kevin

Thoughts on a hope deferred (part 1)

It has been interesting to notice Proverbs 13:12 has been popping up a lot lately.  This verse reads, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”  In these crazy days, I certainly understand how this is on people’s minds.  I’ve decided to share some of my thoughts about this verse.  And by the way, this will take more than just this one blog installment.

I also wanted to share with you that I have experienced unmet dreams or “deferred hope” in my own life.  To be transparent with you, this can be intense at times.  Therefore, I want you to understand that I am directing this blog content to myself first and foremost.  This is not Kevin passing judgment on everyone, while sitting on his perfection perch.  No way!  I struggle with this subject matter, believe me.

 

As I dive in, the sentiments of Proverbs 13:12 are true, but doesn’t it just sound depressing? “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”  Isn’t that a little disheartening, particularly for those who haven’t had their longing fulfilled?    I resonated with one author named Jennie Pollack and her article on this verse from LICC.org (London Institute for Contemporary Christianity).  She wrote,

“I’ve often thought that Proverbs 13:12 is one of the most discouraging verses in the Bible.  The only promise it seems to offer is I’ll be fine when God finally gives me what I’m asking for…It’s important to remember that the book of Proverbs is a list of sayings and truisms – it speaks about the way the world is, not necessarily the way it ought to be.  For example, Proverbs 18:8 says “The words of a gossip are choice morsels, they go down to the inmost parts’, it doesn’t mean we ought to go spread around those juice tidbits.”   (Source: https://www.licc.org.uk/resources/hope-deferred-1/)

Personally, I don’t think the takeaway for this verse in Proverbs 13 is something as trite as “I want to have this item; it hurts that I don’t.  But all is going to be OK when it finally comes to fruition.”  What, then, is the takeaway?  With that rather long introduction, I can only give one today.  But I’ll cover more at a later time.

#1: A hope deferred can become a substitute god

Someone said, “It’s so important that marriage, or finding that person, or being in that relationship doesn’t become our substitute god.  So many people believe that, ‘If I had the guy, if I had the girl, I’d be happy and fulfilled.’  And they end up living for, and investing all their hope and trust in, that potential relationship.  God is clear… [a substitute god] will let us down, if we try to replace Him.  It’s so vital that we be living for Him.”  These stirring words were actually spoken by Joshua Harris in an interview back in the year 2000.

By the way, I have to go on a brief rabbit trail here, because I would be remiss if I didn’t say a word on this.  Today’s Joshua Harris has veered so far off the tracks that he has essentially disavowed the Christian faith he once boldly proclaimed.  It breaks my heart.  I earnestly wish today’s Joshua Harris could hear the inspirational words he had stated in that interview two decades ago, with ears to hear.

In conclusion, once again, I have unmet dreams.  While these are legitimate desires, if I am not careful, I can unintentionally begin to put my hope in the wrong thing.  My hope needs to be in God alone, not in the expectation of a realized dream.  Psalm 62:5 says, “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.”

Kevin