"You've walked me through fires"

As important as the discipline of journaling is, I confess I don’t do it as often as I should.  However, I do have a special journal, that I do write in from time to time.  It was a gift from my mother, for my birthday last year.  Recently, I looked back at a special entry in that journal, from about this same time in August of 2023.  I began that entry by quoting a pastor that I had just recently heard on the radio; to this day, I still don’t know this pastor’s name, but I vividly recall his words.  He said, “We [Christians] do forget how God provides, helps, and is faithful.”  I went on to describe what I called “an extremely difficult day.”  How it hurt any time I tried to breathe deeply.  While the severe symptoms of that day subsided for a time, that was only the beginning.

What followed was a gradual decline.  I was off work for a time; I went to the doctor, but the root cause of my illness went undiscovered.  Various ailments continued to manifest, but no one could seem to determine what was going on.  Finally, weeks after that day I wrote about in my journal, through a blood test, a doctor discovered that I had developed internal bleeding.  Incidentally, I’m now intimately aware of the truth of the Bible verse that says, “For the life of the flesh is in the blood” (Leviticus 17:11).  Because you see, by this time it was late August, and I had lost so much blood that I wasn’t too far from death’s door. 

After a stay in an emergency room, an ulcer discovery, and the aid of talented men and women from the medical profession, ultimately the seriousness of my situation was averted.  I recall just what I was watching when I was told that I would be able to go back home – which at this point, was a few days into September.  I was viewing “Batman Begins” (and, by the way, I was stunned to realize that this movie is almost 20 years old; time sure flies when you’re having fun!).  As I was watching this excellent film, in that ER bed, I felt such relief and gratitude to just be alive.  I’ve decided to make it an annual event to watch “Batman Begins” every August now, in celebration.

You wouldn't be surprised to learn that there was a previous draft of this blog today where I went on and on; let me just start to wrap this up.  Why am I sharing this?  Because that pastor I quoted was right: God provides, helps, and is faithful, yet if we aren’t careful, we can completely forget it.  The God of the universe spared my life – He did it last year, and He has done so in other episodes in my life too – therefore, out of gratitude, I want to turn around and broadcast God.  You don’t want me to broadcast myself, believe me, it’s not always the prettiest of pictures.  But God, He is faithful, kind, merciful, gracious, and healing.

To conclude, in that journal entry last year, I cited Jordan St. Cyr’s song “Fires”; this was a song that helped me last August, when I didn’t even know what I was contending with.  It feels even more appropriate to quote it here.  Jordan sings to God, “You’ve walked me through fires, pulled me from flames; if You’re in this with me, I won’t be afraid.  When the smoke billows higher, oh and higher, and if feels like I can barely breathe, I’ll walk through these fires, ‘cause You’re walking with me.”

God bless,

Kevin