"On the road marked with suffering"

Someone has said, “Pain can either make you bitter or better.”  I don’t know who said those words, but they are true.  I have experienced distressing pain.  Someone is thinking, “Here he goes.  He’s going to talk about the death of his dad again.  Learn a new song, would you?”  I say two things in response to that.  #1: Losing someone you love is a horrendous pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  It’s pain unlike anything I’ve ever gone through before.  So it is not unreasonable for me to keep on bringing it up in this blog, nor is it unreasonable for me to use it as an example of legitimate human suffering.

Secondly, while the pain of my dad’s passing and the aftermath of that event lingers on, I am actually referring to something else.  You see, earlier this week a fresh new dose of suffering was unexpectedly inflicted on me.  I’m not going to share the specifics, but it’s sufficient for me to say that it was another traumatic episode.

I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me.  I’m simply trying to get you to understand that with my dad passing away – and this new development in my life – pain, suffering, and heartache are not just words on a computer screen in a blog.  They are words that describe my life.  I have been, to quote from a popular Matt Redman song, “on the road marked with the suffering.”

So having said all of that, let me return to where I started: someone said, “Pain can either make you bitter or better.”  It’s so true.  Pain can easily make you a cantankerous, hard, unpleasant person.  It can make you a mere shell of the person you once were, if you are not careful.  Or it can hone you into a better person.  It can make you more empathetic, compassionate, and loving.

 

In conclusion, let me add that you can make the choice to let God use your pain to shape you to be a better person, but that doesn’t mean that you banish bitterness away from your doorstep forever.  In my experience, there’s a very real ebb and flow to this.  It’s two steps forward and one step back.  As I say, that’s certainly been the case for me.  Pain and suffering isn’t fun.  Be patient with yourself.

Kevin

"Father's Love Letter"

Recently, I received a wonderful gift in the mail.  Someone took the time to send a handwritten note that stated, in part, how they that were praying for my mom and me, and that they understood how difficult and painful our path is.  I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist.  This note would have been helpful enough.  But included in this letter was a great online resource called “Father’s Love Letter: An intimate message from God to you.”  I found it encouraging and I’ve decided to share it with you.  It reads as follows:

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1) 

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2) 

I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3) 

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-31)

 

For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27) 

In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28)

For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28)

I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5) 

I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16) 

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26) 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) 

I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13) 

And brought you forth on the day you were born. (Psalm 71:6) 

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me (John 8:41-44)

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16) 

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1)

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1) 

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. (Matthew 7:11) 

For I am the perfect father. (Matthew 5:48) 

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17) 

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33) 

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) 

Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3) 

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalm 139:17-18)

And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40)

For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5) 

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3)

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29)

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

For it is I who gave you those desires. (Philippians 2:13) 

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

For I am your greatest encourager. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) 

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18) 

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11)

 
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. (Revelation 21:3-4) 

And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. (Revelation 21:3-4)

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. (John 17:23)

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. (John 17:26)

He is the exact representation of my being. (Hebrews 1:3) 

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. (Romans 8:31) 

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. (1 John 4:10) 

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31-32) 

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. (1 John 2:23) 

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. (Romans 8:38-39)

Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. (Luke 15:7)

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. (Ephesians 3:14-15)

My question is…Will you be my child? (John 1:12-13) 

I am waiting for you. (Luke 15:11-32)

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

(Father’s Love Letter used by permission

Father Heart communications ©1999 FathersLoveLetter.com)  

You are loved!

It can be easy for the single and unattached to become sad at this time of year (believe me, I know).  You might feel like Charlie Brown did in “Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown”, rejected and unwanted.  What good is Valentine’s Day for the person who doesn’t have a significant other?  I love what someone on the K-love radio station team recently said; he said don’t forget that even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship that doesn’t mean that you are unloved.  That’s what I think the person who is without a Valentine can do: remember all the people who love you and want to be with you.  Cherish and celebrate your loved ones.  Shower love and appreciation on your family, friends, and coworkers.  It will brighten their day, and you will feel better as well.

I titled today’s blog “you are loved!”  I did that for two reasons.  #1: As I said, it can be easy for the single person to become down in the dumps and discouraged because they aren’t in a romantic relationship.  But, once again, it’s helpful and encouraging for that person to remember that they are loved.  They have family, friends, and other loved ones to be thankful for.  Remembering you are loved is a tremendous blessing.

The second reason I titled the blog what I did is because of the amazing truth we see in the pages of the Bible: you and I are loved by the God who created the entire universe!  In Jeremiah 31:3 God says, “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love.”  God loves us with an unending, unchanging, everlasting love.  1 John 4 tells us “God is love.”  It is within God’s nature to love fallen, fickle, imperfect human beings.

Someone wants to object.  You want to say, “Kevin, I’ve heard this notion that God loves me before.  But it simply can’t be true.  After all, I’ve endured so much heartache, calamity, and sorrow.  If God really loved me, He wouldn’t have allowed me to experience all this pain.”  First of all, know that I’m sorry.  I know how much my life has changed since last Valentine’s Day.  I know the pain, loss, and suffering I’ve had to endure; I’m not unmoved by your pain.  I’ve been there.  In fact, I’m still there.

However, look at this verse from the book of Romans: “But God demonstrated His own love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (5:8).  If you want to gauge God’s love for you, you can’t look at the circumstances of your life; you have to look at the cross of Calvary.  It was there that Jesus, God in human flesh, voluntarily gave His life as an atoning sacrifice for you and me.

 

The most famous verse of the Bible reads, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).  1 John 3:16, a lesser known verse, states, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us” (NIV).  Maybe you feel as if no one on Earth loves you.  Maybe you feel abandoned, friendless, and alone.  I highly doubt you are completely unloved, but even if you are, God loves you.  You are loved!  Psalm 27:10 says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.”  If you’ve never commenced a relationship with God, you can do so today.  If you are a believer, bask in the thought that no matter how difficult life is, God loves you, and He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:6).

Kevin

More Super Bowl 50 thoughts

Some of you were probably shocked when I announced a few weeks ago that I wasn’t going to watch Super Bowl 50.  But my reasons for this decision were valid.  I wanted to tell you that I went about my activities yesterday completely oblivious to what was happening in the big game.  That is, until I heard a celebratory firecracker, and I reasoned that Denver must have just won.  It turned out that the firecracker was late in the 4th quarter, when Von Miller had forced a fumble deep in Panthers territory and Denver had recovered.  But even then, I didn’t watch it.  However, to be completely honest, I did watch the last minute, when I saw that Denver had the game in hand.  Then I watched the entire postgame show.

Congratulations Broncos; you are the world champions!  I know it’s easy for me to say now, but trust me, I’m telling you the truth when I say this: in the two weeks leading up to the game, I was declaring to friends, family, and coworkers that when a strong defense plays a strong offense, it’s the defense that usually wins.  It happened two years ago when a high-flying Broncos offense played a strong Seahawks defense.  And it has happened in like manner in other Super Bowls as well.  So why did Denver not have a chance of winning in so many "experts" opinions?  The old adage is defense win championships and it was proven true once again yesterday.

So just how good, historically speaking, is this Broncos defense?  Are they the greatest defense ever?  It’s hard to judge because there have been so many great defenses over the years.  Personally, I don’t think they are the best defense ever (that title will always belong to the 1985 Chicago Bears; second on the list, in my opinion, is the 2000 Baltimore Ravens), but I do think Denver’s defense is in the top 5 of best defenses in NFL history.  At the very least, they are the best defense that the Denver Broncos have ever had.

Incidentally, as I was watching the postgame show, in the midst of that jovial celebration, sadness washed over me.  I suddenly felt how empty the room was.  My dad, who loved the Denver Broncos, wasn’t in the room celebrating this win with me.  Don’t cry for him; he is in perpetual bliss in Heaven with his Lord Jesus.  But I could deeply feel his absence last night.

Some of you may want to say to me, “Kevin, it’s been six months now.  Get over it.”  In response, I say as I kindly as I can that you apparently haven’t lost someone you love.  Clark Kent (who knows what’s it like to lose a father) described it well in an episode from the eighth season of the TV show “Smallville”; he said, it feels like something has been ripped away from you forever.  That doesn’t go away in six months.

Kevin

A voice of reason

Recently, Eli Manning, Peyton’s brother, said something in an interview that I thought was so insightful.  He said that Peyton doesn’t need a second Super Bowl ring to secure his legacy.  “Honestly, I think there’s maybe too much placed on rings and Super Bowl championships just because it’s not one player,” Eli declared.  “The quarterback is not the sole reason that you win a championship, it’s the team.  I hope he can win, but his impact has already been made and his legacy…shouldn’t be affected by one game.”  Kudos to Eli Manning (as usual, I have the link that I’ve quoted from below).

Football is a team sport.  So why do we throw Super Bowl wins into the conversation of a quarterback's legacy?  Look at Dan Marino, for example, he put up dazzling statistics; he set records in his heyday that stood for decades.  In the course of his career, he played in one Super Bowl, and lost.  But this doesn’t in any way minimize Marino’s accomplishments.  This simply shows that he didn’t have the team around him to bring a world championship to Miami.

Let’s look at the other side of the coin.  In 2000, the Ravens proved that the adage “defense win championships” has merit.  They posted one the greatest defensive seasons in NFL history.  Trent Dilfer was the quarterback; he did his part to help that team, and he was rewarded with a ring.  But with all due respect to Dilfer, he is not a better quarterback than Dan Marino or other quarterbacks who have never won a Super Bowl.  You can’t gauge a quarterback based solely on the Super Bowl rings they wear.

I agree with Eli.  Peyton Manning has had a remarkable career.  It’s been a joy to watch him play the game.  Whether the Broncos win Super Bowl 50 or not, Peyton is, without a doubt, one of the greatest quarterbacks to have ever played the game of football.  I don’t see how that statement can be debated.  To throw Super Bowl wins into the conversation, in my opinion, misses the point entirely.

https://www.yahoo.com/sports/news/peyton-doesnt-another-super-bowl-secure-legacy-eli-214821423--nfl.html

Kevin

Super Bowl 50 thoughts

Some of you know that every year on this blog, after the matchup has been determined, I predict which team I think will win the Super Bowl.  My record is actually 4-1!  Briefly, let me detail the games I’ve predicted.  

In 2011, this blog was still new and I didn’t have the thought to make a prediction.  But in 2012, I accurately predicted that the Giants would defeat the Patriots in Super Bowl 46.  The next year, I was right in predicting that the Baltimore Ravens would defeat the San Francisco 49ers.  My only incorrect prediction was when the Seahawks pummeled the Broncos in Super Bowl 48 (in my defense, I wasn’t the lone voice in the wilderness picking Denver; others predicted the Broncos would win that game, too).  Super Bowl 49 saw the Patriots against the Seahawks; I guessed the Pats would win the game, and that they did.

Super Bowl 50 has the Denver Broncos returning to the big game this time against the Carolina Panthers.  This year, however, I’m not going to be making a prediction.  Furthermore, I don’t plan to even see the game!  Why?  Because this year’s football season has been unlike any other year in my life; this season my dad – a man who loved football and sports – wasn’t here to view the games with me.  To see the Super Bowl without my dad would be hard enough but it’s doubly difficult because the big game is starring the Denver Broncos.  While I’m certainly proud of the Broncos for making it back to the big game, I know that Dad would be viewing the game if he were here, because he isn’t, it will be too painful to watch the game while seeing his empty chair.  It re-opens the wound of the loss.

Someone is thinking, “Kevin, everyone watches the Super Bowl, it’s basically a national holiday.”  It’s true.  The Super Bowl, for all intents and purposes, is a national holiday.  So I’m going to follow the advice I received from a ministry called Grief Share: create new traditions on holidays.  It’s what was done for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve, thus while it’s technically not a real holiday, I feel it is best to follow the same pattern and create a new tradition with Super Bowl Sunday.  That means skipping the game entirely (yes, I will still be interested in seeing the final score), and watching the highlights afterwards.  That’s what I’ve been doing for most of the Bronco games this year anyway.

Kevin

"Somewhere over the rainbow"

There’s a scene in the classic film “The Wizard of Oz” that has been on my mind of late.  Dorothy is trying to speak with her Aunt Emily (or “Auntie Em” as Dorothy called her) but her aunt is too busy and distracted; she finally says to Dorothy, “Find yourself a place where you won’t get into any trouble.”  Emily runs off to tend to her duties, but Dorothy reflects on her aunt’s words.  “Someplace where there isn’t any trouble.  Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto?”  She asks her faithful dog.  “There must be.  It’s not a place you can get to by a train or a boat.  It’s far, far away; behind the moon, beyond the stars.”  Then Judy Garland sings us the beautiful song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”  Well, there is a place where there isn’t any trouble.  It’s a wonderful place that the Bible calls Heaven.

Heaven has an unfavorable reputation in this culture.  It’s usually thought of as a boring existence; nothing could be further from the truth.  It’s interesting that Jesus referred to Heaven as “paradise” (Luke 23:43).  Furthermore, in 2 Corinthians 12, the Apostle Paul describes a time when he had a vision of Heaven, and he also called it paradise (verse 4).  Sometimes when I ask someone how they are doing, they reply, “It’s another day in paradise.”  Please understand that I’m not criticizing anyone who says this phrase.  It’s fun and lighthearted.  But I have an announcement: life on this Earth is not paradise; Heaven is paradise.  Now, I ask you, would something described as paradise really be boring?  I don’t think so.

Elisabeth Elliot – who went to Heaven a month before my father did – once said, “I think Heaven is going to be so fantastically beyond your wildest imaginations that God couldn’t give us any more hints about it than He’s already given, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to keep our minds on our work.”  There’s pain, heartache, suffering, sorrow, and trouble on this Earth.  Dorothy wondered if there was a place free of trouble.  She quickly realized that Oz had its set of troubles, too.  But it is comforting for me to know that there is a paradise awaiting me one day.  God’s paradise – a place called Heaven.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that a common sentiment presented today is that everyone will go to Heaven in the end.  But the Bible never once presents this idea.  A person doesn’t enter Heaven by default.  The Bible says that only those who have a right relationship with God, through faith and trust in Jesus Christ, will enter the gates of Heaven.  Acts 4:12, to give just one example, says, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under Heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”  I love the way author Anne Graham Lotz once put it, she said that Heaven is available to you, but you have to R.S.V.P. to get in.  Have you?

Kevin