Harpooned

Rob Petrie, in a particularly riveting episode of the iconic program “The Dick Van Dyke show” began receiving a barrage of insults from others after not being as proficient in self-defense as his wife.  I could go on and on about this episode, but for today, my point is Rob eventually likens the emotional damage he feels from the words as “another harpoon” (if you’re interested, I’m referencing an episode titled “My mother can beat up my father”).  I’ve began using that analogy because it’s a vivid word picture.

Candidly, I’ve been at the receiving end of unkind words from others in recent days.  I have been hurt unexpectedly; to use Rob’s word, I’ve been harpooned.  And this has happened on more than one occasion.  I don’t think it would be all that helpful to describe these episodes in detail.  Suffice to say, they made me angry; actually, that’s not strong enough: they made my blood boil.  But if you live on this planet, you’ll be hurt by others.  It’s inevitable.  Therefore, if that’s true, what is the remedy for this?  The remedy, in a word, is forgiveness.  I’m not saying it’s an easy remedy; in fact, forgiveness seems like the last thing we should do, but I can tell you from firsthand experience the only way to heal is to forgive.

Recently, I had this thought: if someone were to ask me to present one last blog installment, and then retire from writing them altogether, what would my last, all-important blog be about?  Of course, I would have great difficulty with such a task.  Perhaps I would condense it into a bullet point format or something.  But, without a doubt, somewhere in that blog I would state this: if you and I want to live a life of happiness and peace, we must choose to forgive when others hurt us.  I’ve experienced the power of forgiveness, and I thank God for it.  Without it, I don’t know where I would be. 

In Matthew 6, Jesus gives His disciples a sample prayer, commonly referred to as “The Lord’s Prayer”, He gives these words: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (verse 12; NKJV).  I’ve heard this prayer recited in groups, and sometimes the phrase is “forgive us our transgressions, as we forgive those who transgress against us.”  I like that rendering too.  Further, in Matthew 18, Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother.  Up to seven times?  Peter had to be surprised when Jesus answered, “seventy times seven” (verse 22).  Essentially, what Jesus was saying is there’s no limit; keep on forgiving.    

Ephesians 4:30 states to not “grieve the Holy Spirit of God”, and the next verse admonishes, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you.”  Well, okay, how does one get rid of all of these things?  Verse 32 of Ephesians 4: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  That last phrase is very important.  When I consider the massive debt of sin that I accrued, and how Jesus paid off that debt with His blood, I’m inspired to turn around and forgive others with the same mercy that I’ve been given by God.

In conclusion, forgiveness is powerful, but it can be misunderstood.  So let me hit and run on a few instances to clarify.  This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, but it’s a start.  First off, “forgive and forget” is not found in the Bible.  I can choose to forgive, but I may never actually forget.  Secondly, forgiving yourself is vitally important.  Since God forgave me, I can choose to forgive myself too.  Thirdly, forgiveness isn’t dependent on the other person apologizing.  They may never apologize.  Reconciliation may not occur.  So be it.

Furthermore, forgiving someone doesn’t imply that you are now okay with what they did; it means you are letting God be the judge of the situation.  Fifthly, forgiveness doesn’t mean you are a doormat who stays in a bad situation.  Similarly, forgiveness doesn’t suggest you now trust the person; trust has to be earned.  Sixthly and finally, forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.  You may not feel like you’ve forgiven, but your emotions will eventually catch up to the decision of your will.

Kevin