Reflections on my father's birthday

I’ve had a lot of extra free time on my hands of late, as I’ve documented.  Not long ago, I watched the 2018 film “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse”, and as with previous viewings, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  At the end of the film, a Stan Lee quote is given: “That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero.” 

This made me think of my dad.  In fact, in 2015, when I spoke at Dad’s memorial service I called my dad a superhero.  I made it clear that day (and I reiterate it again here today, this designation is a massive compliment).  Today is my dad’s birthday, even if he is in Heaven.  Dad routinely helped others “because it is the right thing to do.”  First and foremost, he served his wife, my mother.  I have seldom seen anyone in my life who was so devoted to loving, cherishing, serving, and protecting his spouse as my dad.  He also consistently helped his children, my brother and me.  I could tell story after story of how he did this.  Furthermore, I could tell stories of how dad selflessly helped his coworkers.

My dad’s passing was a difficult time in my life.  This man who was always in my corner, who was there to provide encouragement, love, and help was suddenly gone.  I had to grieve this tremendous loss; incidentally, maybe that’s a word of challenge for someone.  You’ve lost a loved one, but you haven’t let yourself mourn.  You’ve buried it and stuffed it down.  You must give yourself permission to grieve, to fully feel the intensity of the pain and the loss.  To do otherwise isn’t healthy.  Don’t misunderstand me: that’s not to say that one ever truly over “gets over” the loss.  In many ways, it will stay with you; it will remain a part of your story. 

For example, I could write a whole blog on why I appreciate the 2005 film “Batman Begins”; I think it is the most underrated of the trilogy.  I happened to finish this movie again today, of all days.  You may recall that, at the end of the film, there is a bittersweet scene between Bruce Wayne and Rachel Dawes (played here by Katie Holmes).  Rachel states that while she never stopped thinking about Bruce, he was not the same person; but perhaps one day, when Gotham no longer needed Batman, the old Bruce would return and they could be together.  She went on to make a statement that caused a wave of tears and grief to unexpectedly hit me.  She said to Bruce, “Your father would be very proud of you, just like me.”

I did a few things today to honor Dad’s memory, including this blog.  Why did I do this?  Because the Bible says, “Give honor to whom honor is due” (Romans 13:7), and that certainly is true of my dad.  I purchased some red roses (I should take a picture and share it with you); I did this because an online article written by Shannon O’ Conner for a flower company stated that while red flowers can signify true love and passion, they can also be used to convey respect and courage.  As per usual, you can find the link I’m referencing right here.  I think this is a fitting tribute to Dad’s legacy.

In conclusion, my recent overnight stay in an emergency room was a reminder that tomorrow is not guaranteed.  I heard a program by Billy Graham and his team today; I resonated with him when he said, something to the effect of, “We think death is coming to others, but somehow not to us.  But the Bible says, ‘It is appointed for man to die once, but after this the judgment [Hebrews 9:27].’”  I confess I naively used to think this; not anymore.  These days on Earth are fleeting and numbered.  We can’t afford to put off the spiritual decisions that need to be made.  The next verse in Hebrews 9 says, “so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many.”  If you’ve never placed your faith in this Christ – the One who out of His great love, willingly shed His blood for you – I urge you to do so.  The Bible says, “Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

God bless,

Kevin