The nuts and bolts of forgiveness

Last week – May 8th – was Teacher Appreciation Day.  It is a wonderful thing that we have a day to honor teachers.  They deserve to be recognized and appreciated.  They have a tough job with little fanfare or gratitude.  As I thought about that special day, it dawned on me that there are teachers who don’t teach in a classroom; they teach at a pulpit on Sunday mornings.  Pastors are teachers too, and they should be acknowledged for what they do.

In light of this, I wanted to present the words of a pastor from days gone by to you.  Dr. Rick Ferguson was a commendable pastor in Colorado; he unexpectedly passed away at the young age of 46, in 2002.  I am fortunate to have in my collection a sermon he preached on forgiveness back in the 90’s.  As you may have seen from my title today, I’ve taken the liberty of calling Dr. Ferguson’s words “The nuts and bolts of forgiveness”.  Without further ado, here they are:
 

“As surely as I’m standing here, I know that I speaking to some of you…who have been victimized and traumatized and for me to try to understand your pain, it would be foolish, because I’ve not been through the pain that you’ve felt.  The crimes that have been committed against you are horrendous.  But I still want to say to you the truth of the Word of God: it’s a sin to be unwilling to forgive your offender or offenders…you’ll continue to be the victim, and you will never be free from the crisis that crushed you until you forgive the person who did it.

Some of you are struggling with [the question of], ‘How do I forgive?’  Let me tell you, forgiveness is, first of all, an act of the will, not of the emotions.  You won’t feel like forgiving someone that’s offended you.  In fact, the more you let your emotions drive you, the less you’ll feel like it, the angrier and more hostile you’ll become.

Once you say you forgive them, you probably won’t feel like you’ve really forgiven them.  But you have to reckon it to be so.  That’s not just a Missouri word, that’s a Bible word.  Reckon it to be so; count it to be so; remind yourself that it’s so.  You’ll have to continually remind yourself, ‘That debt is secured; that debt is finished; that debt is closed.  I’ve forgiven that person they no longer owe me.’

You’re saying, ‘How long will it take before I start to feel like I’ve forgiven them?’  I don’t know.  That usually depends on how long you’ve held on to that root of bitterness.  Remember what I told you earlier?  The longer you hold on to it, the more deeply embedded it becomes.  But I’m telling you, my friend, if you’ll exercise an act of the will, and the power of the Spirit of God…it won’t be long before the emotions come along.  What you’ve declared rightfully so in your will, soon will be a true reality in your heart and emotions.”

Let me conclude with my two cents worth.  I have practiced the concepts presented today numerous times in my life.  I can attest to you that Pastor Rick is absolutely right.  My custom is to actually pray a prayer of forgiveness (I find this helps me to drive a stake down on my decision).  I pray to the Lord and tell Him that I am choosing forgiveness towards the person who hurt me.  It does take some time, but eventually my emotions follow my decision.  It is my hope and prayer that if you have been in bondage to unforgiveness, the Lord will use the words of this faithful man of God from the past to set you free today.

Kevin

The necessity of forgiveness

I’ve said it before, but I will say it again: forgiveness is incredibly powerful.  I think sometimes we forget just how vital, liberating, and potent it really is.  It’s important to be reminded how forgiveness is an essential component in life.  In fact, I would be so bold as to put it this way: you and I will never live life to its fullest if we don’t forgive.  That’s why in the Bible we are told over and over to choose forgiveness.

Recently, I’ve been reading the excellent book “The Superheroes Devotional” by Ed Strauss.  In a chapter on the film Spider-Man 3, he writes, “After defeating Venom, Peter goes to see Mary Jane.  She convinces him that although they’d hurt each other, they had to forgive.  So they reconcile.  In fact, Peter has learned his lesson so well that at the end of the movie, when a repentant Flint Marko tells him he is remorseful over killing Uncle Ben, Peter forgives him.  The message behind the story is thoroughly Christian…The Bible says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32 KJV).”

“God knows that it’s wrong when someone deliberately offends you, takes advantage of you, gossips about you, or harms you.  He understands how these things can hurt you.  He also knows that it’s a common human reaction to want the other person to feel pain in return.  But only God can administer justice perfectly.  So the Bible says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends…for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19 NIV)…He wants you to unhook your fingers from the offense against you and give Him room to work.  He wants you to even refrain from praying for vengeance, but instead to forgive the offending party” (From “The Superheroes Devotional”, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. Used by permission).

By the way, this notion of extending forgiveness doesn’t just apply to others.  If you’re like me, you don’t give yourself the patience, understanding, and mercy to yourself that you would to someone else.  I seem to be my harshest critic.  I’m not proud of this; I’m just being honest.  Perhaps this is why I resonated with a statement that was made on a recent episode of the TV show “The Flash”.  Someone said to Barry Allen (alias “The Flash”), “You treat everyone around you with kindness and respect.  Just remember to do the same for yourself every once in a while.”  Wise words.

Kevin

"I cry to You, O Lord"

Today is the National Day of Prayer.  It is a tremendous blessing that we have a day such as this set aside to pray and cry out to our great Creator.  This is actually something that has been practiced for centuries.  As one website states, “Days of prayer have a long history in America.”  The site goes on to list dozens of instances of this.  There are so many examples that could be underscored, but this paragraph caught my attention:

“The same week Congress passed the Bill of Rights, President George Washington declared [these words on] October 3, 1789…“Both houses of Congress have by their joint Committee, requested me ‘to recommend to the People of the United States a Day of Public Thanksgiving and Prayer to be observed’… I do recommend the 26th day of November…that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks…Humbly offering our prayers to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions.” (Source: http://www.nationaldayofprayer.org/history_of_prayer_in_america)

Furthermore, Abraham Lincoln once said, “It is the duty of nations as well as men, to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions, in humble sorrow, yet with the assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon.” (Source: http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/fast.htm)

May I tell you how motivated I was by Abraham Lincoln’s words in that quote?  I was inspired, first of all, to confess my dependence on God once more.  Psalm 73:25 sums up my heartfelt cry: “My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  The beginning of that verse brings up mankind’s sin problem; which leads me to the second aspect of Lincoln’s thoughts that I want to emphasize: confession of sin to God.

Psalm 130 is a beautiful passage; in the first few verses we read, “Out of the depths, I cry to You, O Lord…Let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.  If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins…who could stand?  But with You, there is forgiveness.”  Matthew West, in his beautiful song, “Mended” presents the lyrics as if God Himself were singing.  At one point in the song, this line is given: “You see your worst mistake; I see the price I paid.”  Because of the cross of Jesus Christ; because of His shed blood for us, we can be forgiven.  This is something to be celebrated, not just on the National Day of Prayer, but every single day.

Kevin

Life 35+ years later

After celebrating God’s healing touch in my life as a child, I thought I would write a follow-up blog reflecting on my life an adult today.

From the outset, let me unequivocally declare that I am so grateful for the gift of life.  I am thankful for it because of that defining moment in my life on 4/24 all those years ago; also because of many other significant events that taught me to treasure life.  I’m well aware that every time I wake up to face another day, it is a gift from the hand of God.  He is the One who sustained me.  He kept my heart beating.  He protected me (Psalm 4:8).  Someone said it this way: “Today is a gift that’s why it’s called the present.”

Conversely, I have to admit to you that life can be tough.  Jonny Diaz paints a good picture of the normal rigors of a day; in his song “Breathe” he states, “Ninety miles an hour, going as fast as I can; trying to push a little harder, trying to get the upper hand. So much to do in so little time; it’s a crazy life.  It’s ready, set, go; it’s another wild day…my stress is on the rise.”  This describes my life so well.

Furthermore, the storms of life seem relentless.  Many years ago, I was in a church service where a guest preacher spoke; he made a statement that I resonate with today.  He said, “Just when you think you are confident in God, comes the next trial around the corner, comes the next daunting challenge.”  I couldn’t have put it better.  That’s where I often find myself these days.  The preacher went on to say, “When God’s will crosses my will, I am presented with this idea: [God says to me] ‘My ways aren’t your ways, but you can trust me, because I am good.’”  It’s not often put quite that way: since God is good, we can trust Him.

To conclude, in a memorable episode of the TV show “Lois and Clark” a despondent man attempts to commit suicide, but Superman stops him.  He tells the man, “Life is a very precious gift.  Every day we are alive is another chance to be the best we can be.”  The man doesn’t get Superman’s point at first.  But after he briefly obtains some of Superman’s powers, and has the opportunity to live the life of a superhero, he eventually does understand.  At the end of the episode, with everything back to normal, the man declares, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this, it’s that life really is worth living for as long as you get to.  Because you never know what’s going to happen next.”  Life is an incredible adventure.  I want to relish every day, because I don’t know what is going to happen next.

Kevin

"The memory of a miracle"

A defining moment is “a decision, an event, or an experience that indelibly marks you and changes the course of your life forever” (this quote is from Bill Oudemolen in his sermon entitled “For Such a Time as This” examining Esther’s pivotal moment in Esther chapter 4).  I have had several defining moments in my life.  I’ve been forthright about them in this blog.  Today I’m celebrating the developments on April 24, 1982.  Even though I was less than a year old at that time, it was my first defining moment.

I have a special memento from a church newsletter (there's a relic from the past for you) that describes this defining moment.  It’s called “The Memory of a Miracle”; it was written by the man who was my pastor at the time – Pastor Gerald.  Here is what he wrote in that newsletter a few years after the event:

“Approximately three years ago I met for the very first time a child with a brain disorder, or disease, called Infantile Spasms.  Infantile Spasms is an incurable, mysterious and little known disease which either ruthlessly takes the life of its victims or leaves them hopelessly impaired for the entirety of an abbreviated lifetime.

That child, later to become a very special little friend of mine, was Kevin Eugene Bauer.  Kevin had visited our Sunday morning worship service along with his parents, Jerry and Rose Mary.  That Sunday was also the Sunday they became a very real part of our church family.  The very next Sunday, April 25, 1982, as I greeted the people, Rose Mary whispered that God had healed Kevin…Weeks later bewildered and puzzled medical specialists confirmed Rose Mary’s whispered dream.  Kevin was indeed healed!

It’s almost beyond comprehension to view the hopelessness of a wonderful couple as they watched in helplessness, the child of their dreams held beyond cure in the violent clutches of this tormenting disease…But wait a minute! Neither the doctor nor the disease has the final diagnosis.  Behold the beauty of such a transformation as God reaches down to a sorrow-torn family, lifts them in His arms and wipes away the tears.  Oh, the beauty as God takes away the disease, clothes little Kevin in good health, [and] hands him a future and hope…Thank you, God, for the reality and memory of a beautiful miracle.”

I’m going to conclude by giving my heartfelt praise to God, through an old hymn written by Fanny Crosby, back in the 1800's, entitled “To God be the Glory”: “To God be the glory, great things He hath done…Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, let the Earth hear His voice.  Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, let the people rejoice.  Oh, come to the Father, through Jesus the Son, and give Him the glory, great things He hath done!”

Kevin

A thorny subject matter

Next week – on April the 24th – I will be celebrating another year of being cured from a terrible disease that I had as a baby.  I have a special blog in mind for that day, so stay tuned.  But for today, I thought I would bring up a thorny subject matter: the topic of healing.  More specifically, the idea that it is sometimes not God’s will to heal.  Once again, I annually celebrate God providentially healing me from a destructive malady all those decades ago.  But also keep in mind that in 2015 my father suffered from his own malady, and he was not healed from it (at least not in this dimension; he is healed in every way in Heaven).  Why does God choose to heal some people, but not others?  Many people have been perplexed by this.  Perhaps you are wrestling with this in your life journey today.

Got questions.org has a helpful and thought-provoking article on this.  We read, “Often, Christians have an over-simplified idea of healing.  They think that, if they are sick, they have only to ask God to heal them and, because God loves them, He will heal them straightaway.  Healing is seen as proof of a person’s faith and of God’s love.  This idea persists in some circles in spite of the truth that every mother knows: a parent does not give her child everything he asks for every time, no matter how much she loves him. 

Joni Eareckson Tada struggled with this issue for a long time.  As she recounts in her book Joni, she sought physical healing of her quadriplegia.  She prayed and fully believed that God would heal her.  In her words, “I certainly believed.  I was calling up my girlfriends saying, ‘Next time you see me I’m going to be running up your sidewalk. God’s going to heal me.’” (quoted in an interview with Marvin Olasky, www.worldmag.com/2013/01/joni_eareckson_tada_on_faith_healing_and_marriage, January 17, 2013).  Yet Joni is still in a wheelchair today.  Forty-five years after the accident that left her paralyzed, God has still not healed her.  Her perspective is one of great faith: “God may remove your suffering, and that will be great cause for praise.  But if not, He will use it, He will use anything and everything that stands in the way of His fellowship with you.  So let God mold you and make you, transform you from glory to glory.  That’s the deeper healing” (quoted on www.gty.org/resources/sermons/TM13-2/a-deeper-healing-joni-eareckson-tada, October 16, 2013).  Some feel that God will never heal anyone miraculously today.  Others feel that God will always heal a person if he or she has enough faith.  But God will not be put into either box.” (Source: https://www.gotquestions.org/God-heal-everyone.html)

As I stated earlier, someone may be perplexed at the lack of healing in your life or the life of someone you love.  If that’s you, please understand that my heart hurts for you.  I’m not ignorant of the deep heartache, sorrow, and pain that can come in and disrupt a world.  Therefore, with compassion and love, let me conclude with where I have landed on this subject matter.  More and more I’m learning that God thinks thoughts that are infinitely higher than mine (see Isaiah 55:8-9).  There are things that I’m just not going to get until I go to Heaven one day.  Therefore, I defer to the Lord’s wisdom and understanding (Proverbs 3:5).  Charles Spurgeon once put it this way: “God is too good to be unkind and too wise to be mistaken.  And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.” (https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/1403154-god-is-too-good-to-be-unkind-and-he-is)  

Kevin

Happy 4:13 day!

For several years now, the radio station K-love has dubbed March 16th as “3:16 day” in recognition of John 3:16.  I missed blogging about it this year, but I have done so in past years.  This concept got me thinking.  You might say that today could be “4:13 day” in honor of Philippians 4:13; this is a famous verse that reads, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (NKJV).

Right off that bat, I have to state that this verse can be twisted to suggest that anything and everything will be done for the person, simply because God is going to back you up in the endeavor.  No matter how selfish it may be.  That’s not what this verse means at all.  Pastor Bill Oudemolen once gave two good examples of this in a sermon.  He said, when he was young, he wanted to slam dunk a basketball.  He would quote Philippians 4:13, then he would subsequently jump and not even come anywhere close to dunking it.  Secondly, he said he always wanted to play a musical instrument.  So, do you think, without any lessons, he just picked up an instrument and magically could play it perfectly?  No, because that’s not what Philippians 4:13 is teaching.

I would paraphrase the verse this way: “Whatever situation God has called me to do I can meet it with confidence, not because of my own innate power, but because the Lord will give me His supernatural strength to face it.”  Let me list some examples.  You’ve been hurt deeply by someone.  Your blood boils just at the mere thought of what they said or did.  You want to hold on to the anger, and harbor a secret desire for revenge, but you also know that God says the only way to experience freedom is to forgive the one who hurt you.  The problem is you don’t think you can do it.  The reality is you’re right.  But according to Philippians 4:13, Christ will give you the supernatural power to do it.

Or maybe your best friend in the entire world, that special person you can’t imagine living life without, passes on to the after-life.  Knowing this makes the thought of facing another day excruciating.  You wonder how you can even go on.  According to Philippians 4:13, Christ will empower you to face this new reality.  It might be that you are facing a health crisis that has gripped your world and filled you with fear and uncertainty.  Or perhaps you suddenly find yourself unemployed.  All I’m trying to say is that life has a way of knocking the wind out of us.  But Philippians 4:13 presents an amazing promise: no matter what it is, God will help His children to face the next seemingly insurmountable mountain.

Happy 4:13 day!

Kevin