Reflecting on a rotten week

It all started this past Monday morning.  After having my breakfast, my stomach didn’t feel right.  I called in sick, and soon after, I threw up.  What followed was a rotten week of vomiting every day (which, it turned out, was due to food poisoning).  This led to excessive dehydration, which led to a persistent headache that basically lasted the whole week.  I had no energy to speak of, leaving me sidelined, and forced to watch my whole world crumble around me.

As I look back at the ordeal, I probably could write a week’s worth of content.  I could speak about how my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), and so I need to be careful with what I introduce into that temple.  I could write about how this reminded me that every day we wake up to face a new day, it’s a gift from God.  Believe me, the older I get, this is not something I take for granted.   

But one of the most interesting things I found to note is that, it seemed like everywhere I looked, every devotional book and sermon, someone was speaking about the account of the disciples in the storm.  Mark 4:37 states that “a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling.”  The disciples are freaking out, and the next verse tells us that Jesus was asleep.  Verse 39 can be so familiar that, if we aren’t careful, we are not struck by the incredible awe of the moment; Jesus actually gets up, and says, “Peace, be still” and subsequently there was a great calm.    

Mark 4:40 gives us a rather puzzling response from Jesus.  He tells His disciples, “Why are you so fearful?  How is it that you have no faith?”  Someone must have raised an eyebrow, and said, “Well, that was scary; we thought we were going to die.”  But the fact is, there was Someone in the boat who was in complete control of the situation.  He had the power to calm the storm, after all.  They needed to put their faith in Him.  In Luke’s account of this, Jesus’ words are rendered, “Where is your faith” (Luke 8:25)? 

This lesson was hammered home to me on more than one occasion: just like the disciples, Jesus will call me to a storm; this week was a time of extreme weakness, growing uncertainty, and intense pain.  But, even in the midst of this, I’m to put my faith in Him, not give into fear.  I am to remember His promise: “I will never leave you, nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).  Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying this is easy.  But it’s the right outlook, nevertheless.

Let me address this question that someone might be thinking.  Is it possible that we may not even survive the storm at all?  Yes, it’s possible.  We don’t like to think about it, but the reality is, none of us knows how many sunrises we have left; only God knows.  To be candid with you: I thought about whether or not I would survive this recent storm.  No, I wasn’t on the brink of death, but I was still very weak physically and thus such thoughts popped into my head.  1 Corinthians 15 says, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable.”  The glorious truth is this: A Christian’s hope goes beyond the grave.  Because of my faith in Jesus, I can look forward to the paradise in Heaven one day.

In conclusion, there is a song from the group Passion that came out this year.  Every time I hear it, I resonate with it on a deeply emotional level.  On this most recent hearing, as I finally begin to rejoin the land of the living, I sang out these words of praise to God:

“In every high and every low, You never left me without hope.  You were good, and You’re good right now.  I’ve witnessed Your faithfulness; I’ve seen You breathe life within.  So I’ll pour out my praise again. You’re worthy, God, You’re worthy of all of it.  Your promises never fail; I’ve got stories I’ll live to tell, so I’ll pour out my praise again.  You’re worthy, God, You’re worthy of all of it” (lyrics from the song “I’ve witnessed it”).

God bless,

Kevin

Crucibles

The word crucible isn’t used all that frequently.  But the word came to mind in reference to what I want to talk about today.  Dictionary.com defines the word as “a severe test or trial or an extremely challenging situation.  This figurative sense of the word is based on the literal meaning of the word: a heat-resistant container used to melt metals” (found at this link under the "more about crucible" section of the webpage).  

It was eight years ago, this past Saturday, when we had the memorial service for my father.  This saga was a crucible.  Initially, I was going to share some of my thoughts on my dad’s legacy, grief, and the hope of Heaven.  But that content will be another day.  However, I do want to state – for the record – if I had to single out the most intensely difficult crucible in my life, it was my dad’s unexpected passing.  I continue to miss him, but I carry his example, humor, and virtue with me in my heart.

But as difficult as that season was, haven’t you discovered as I have, that there’s seemingly always another trial right around the corner?  For example, I recently shared that another dark season recently had come upon me.  I didn’t call it a crucible that day, but I did state that it was such a shattering time that I likened it to Humpty Dumpty falling off that wall.  I quoted a preacher who said that the King Himself had to put Humpty back together; that’s what God did for me.  I stand by that analogy, and I give Him all the glory for this!

It occurred to me that someone reading this might really be going through it.  You may be going through the worst crucible in your life right now.  You feel like you have been whacked around so much by life’s trials, you can hardly even tell which way is up.  If that’s you, I know what it’s like.  I’ve mentioned some examples of trials to make it clear that I’m not in some ivory tower, unattached from the crushing pain of life.  I’ve been there. 

As a matter of fact, I could write a whole blog about what has transpired in the last few days since I began writing this particular blog.  Although the situation isn’t fully resolved, I can state that in the pain, frustration, and loneliness, God has been so faithful.  He used Jordan St. Cyr’s song “Fires” to encourage me.  “You walked me through fires, pulled me from flames, if You’re in this with me, I won’t be afraid.  When the smoke billows higher, oh, and higher and it feels like I can barely breathe, I’ll walk through these fires, ‘cause You’re walking with me.”

Furthermore, Psalm 42 gives profound words of help to me, and I give them to you now.  The Psalmist was apparently going through it.  The heading in my NKJV Bible, right after the Psalm 42 heading, actually reads, “yearning for God in the midst of distresses.”  Psalm 42:5 says, “Why are you cast down, O my soul?  And why are you disquieted within me?  Hope in God.  For I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.”  In a few verses, in verse 11, he restates these words again for reminder and emphasis.  I can’t leave out verse 8: “The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me – a prayer to God of my life.”  There is hope and help in God. 

In conclusion, in the epic “Crisis on Infinite Earths” saga (the TV version from the CW), Superman gave us a memorable and stirring line.  Incidentally, since I’ve brought it up, the so-called “Arrowverse” had its flaws, I see them clearly.  But I don’t think enough credit is given to those involved in creating that shared TV universe of superheroes. 

Part 3 of the Crisis crossover event is where we are treated to Superman’s motivating words. Brandon Routh portrayed an older Superman who had tragically lost several loved ones.  But he chose hope over despair; he signified this mindset when he changed the color pattern in his iconic S emblem on his chest.  Rather than the yellow and red design, the yellow was replaced with black instead, with the red S.  When asked why he added black, he said, “Even in the darkest times, hope cuts through.  Hope is the light that lifts us out of darkness.”

God bless,

Kevin

Independence Day thoughts - one week late

I found myself quite embarrassed when I realized something: I had inadvertently skipped over my Independence Day thoughts in this blog last week.  This was not my intention; so I wanted to correct this glaring omission right now.   

Amidst the festivities of my July 4th celebration a week ago, I was blessed to hear most of a rendition of Lee Greenwood’s classic song “God bless the USA”.  Nostalgia washed over me because when I was a small boy, I sang this song several times on stage, with my father providing the piano accompaniment.  Let me present a small sampling of this song’s lyrics:

“I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.  And I won’t forget the men who died and gave that life to me, and I’ll gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.  ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land.  God bless the U.S.A.  From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee, across the plains of Texas; from sea to shining sea.  From Detroit down to Houston, and from New York to L.A.  Well, there’s pride in every American heart and it’s time we stand and say, that I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.”

Freedom, as the saying goes, isn’t free.  Thomas Jefferson once remarked, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.”  Ronald Reagan declared, “I don’t have to tell you how fragile this precious gift of freedom is, every time we hear, watch, or read the news, we are reminded that liberty is a rare commodity in this world.  Harry Truman once said, “Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid.  They have earned our undying gratitude.  America will never forget their sacrifices.” (all the quotes can be found at this link)  I thank God for the freedom I enjoy as an American.  I will not take it for granted.

God bless,

Kevin

   

Birthday aftermath

Tim Tebow, in his one-year devotional titled “Mission Possible” writes,

“In Bible times, high-temperature flame was a process used to purify gold…the clean gold was placed in a crucible over a hot fire or in a hot furnace.  After a period of time, dross formed on the surface, and the refiner skimmed it off, leaving behind only pure gold…I’ve read that some refiners considered their work finished when they could see a reflection of themselves in the crucible-cradled gold. 

“The Bible is replete with images containing “refining by fire” language.  It’s a process that obviously is uncomfortable and excruciating at times but requires a greater work than searing pain.  It bears a refined image of Jesus Christ in our lives…when we stay and trust in the process, yes, even in the pain, we will become more and more like Jesus” (from the 6/24 reading titled “Stay in the Heat”). 

As I process life in the aftermath of my birthday, I look forward to the future with hope and gratitude in my heart.  However, I also have to admit that this past year has been filled with some incredibly difficult episodes.  You say, “Wow.  You ought to share in detail what happened.”  No, the happenings aren’t as important as what I felt like as a result of these episodes. 

I seriously felt like Humpty Dumpty who had fallen, and was shattered into a million pieces.  And, as the poem goes, “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.”  Do you know why?  As Michael Youssef once put it, the king’s horses and men couldn’t fix Humpty because only the King Himself can!   I want to forever inscribe my gratitude to God; He took my broken pieces, and healed me.  God is real!  He is faithful and He is good! 

But this is more than just celebratory birthday aftermath.  Many years ago, I sang a Don Moen song at a church, and I still sing it to God to this day.  The chorus says, “Lord, I offer my life to You, everything I’ve been through use it for Your glory.”  I vulnerably share my heart with you on my mind.  Maybe you are in a dark place in your life right now.  Perhaps you feel completely shattered.  I want to encourage you to look to God. 

The opening verses of Isaiah 61 are powerful.  This is a passage that was/is fulfilled in the Person of Jesus Christ.  Isaiah 61:1 (b) says, “He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted.  To proclaim liberty to the captives.” Verse 3 says, “To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes; the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”  This is what God for me, and I trust He will do the same for you.  Look to Him in child-like faith.   

Not long ago, I heard a riveting sermon where the pastor was speaking about how God uses the suffering in our lives.  And this is true even in the lives of unbelievers.  He quoted from Michael J. Fox’s 2002 book “Lucky Man” as one illustration.  Michael is not a Christian, but I love this quote from his book.  In chapter one, he writes,

“If you were to rush into this room right now and announce that you had struck a deal – with God, Allah, Buddha, Christ, Krishna, Bill Gates, whomever – in which the ten years since my diagnosis could be magically be taken away, traded in for ten more years as the person I was before – I would without hesitation tell you to take a hike…I would never want to go back to that life – a sheltered, narrow existence fueled by fear and made liveable by insulation, isolation, and self-indulgence.”

Obviously I’m not Michael J. Fox.  I have not lived with Parkinson’s disease; I have not suffered like he has suffered; I can’t begin to imagine the hard road he has had to walk.  All of that said, I agree with him in reference to my own recent negative life experiences.  I too would not want to magically be spared the pain of this past year.  He has used these hard episodes, through the fire, to refine me to be more like Jesus.    

God bless,

Kevin    

Birthday thoughts

There are many things that I could bring up today.  But when I heard a certain song on the radio yesterday, and how it sums up the sentiments of my heart so well, I knew this was the direction I was going to go today.  Back in 2021, Zahriya Zachary (along with a long list of others) wrote a song titled “Back to Life”.  Here’s a sampler of the lyrics:

“I won’t forget the moment I heard You call my name; out of the grip of darkness into the light of grace.  Just like Lazarus, oh You brought me back to life…all of my hope and freedom are found in Jesus’ name; just like Lazarus, oh You brought me back to life.  [Chorus] No longer I who live, but Christ in me, for I’ve been born again, my heart is free.  The hope of Heaven before me, the grave behind.  Hallelujah, You brought me back to life.  When something says I’m guilty, I’ll point to the price You paid…”

[The bridge of this song is where I really had to fight back tears; please don’t cry and drive] “How can I begin to thank You for all You’ve done for me?  Jesus, to praise You fully it will take all eternity.  Just like Lazarus, oh You brought me back to life.”

It took a little bit of research to get the lyrics and information online for you today.  I found a you tube video of the song being performed.  In the comments section, I was glad to see that someone had quoted these words from Lyle C. Rollings III.  

“Jesus Christ had no servants, yet they called Him Master.  He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.  He had no medicines, yet He was called Healer.  He had no army, yet kings feared Him.  He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.  He did not live in a castle, yet they called Him Lord.  He ruled no nations, yet they called Him King.  He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.  He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.”

On this day – and every day – I celebrate Jesus Christ.  Somebody wants to say, “Kevin, it’s your birthday.  You can brag on yourself, just for today.”  No, I point you to the Lord Jesus Christ, not myself.  It’s all about Him; it’s not about me. 

God bless,

Kevin

Choose to forgive

I recently came across a New York Times article, written last year, that confirmed what I’ve already suspected: people are becoming increasingly mean and unkind toward restaurant workers.  Let me just cite a few words from this New York Times article which, by the way, can be found at this link:

“The stories of bad customer behavior began trickling down in the summer of 2020, when businesses that had closed in the early part of the coronavirus pandemic began to reopen to a new, angry mood in the United States.  At a restaurant struggling with staff and restaurant struggling with staff and food storages in Massachusetts, for instance, a group of diners became so furious at the long wait time for food that they demanded it be boxed up – and then theatrically dumped the whole order, uneaten, into the garbage.

“It’s like abuse,” Brandi Felt Castellano, who closed her Cape Cod restaurant for 24 hours to give her weary staff a “day of kindness” break told The Times that [back in] July. “People are always rude to restaurant workers, but this far exceeds anything I’ve seen in my 20 years.””

From my own perch in customer service, I can absolutely confirm this phenomenon.  Just this past year or so, I have witnessed with my own eyes two or three major episodes where customers, not only completely lost their temper right in the store, but they subsequently made a complete speculate of themselves, in a shameful rage.  So be in prayer for us longsuffering souls in the customer service game!

Author and speaker Gary Thomas once made this tremendous statement: “We will either grow in God or grow in bitterness.”  I love that quote, and it’s so true.  There’s enough in the world today that will aid in growing in bitterness.  I’ve highlighted how you might “grow in bitterness” in the customer service realm, but there are other examples.  For instance, I think of marriage.  It’s plain to me that any successful marriage had better have two forgivers (special shout out to my brother and sister-in-law, yesterday, they celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary).  What powerful there is in forgiveness!

The older I get, the more I understand – both experientially and otherwise – the horrific pain that can be inflicted upon a life.  I submit that the only way to be free from this crushing pain is to forgive the offender.  But having stated this, forgiveness can easily be misunderstood.  So I want to take moment to cite an important word from a helpful got questions.org article. 

“It is important to recognize that to forgive is not to downplay a wrongdoing or necessarily to reconcile.  When we choose to forgive, we release a person from his indebtedness to us.  We relinquish the right to seek personal revenge.  We choose to say we will not hold his wrongdoing against him.  However, we do not necessarily allow that person back into our trust” a little later on, this author sums it up well: “Forgiveness does not mean we act as if no wrong has been done; it does mean we recognize that grace abundant has been given to us and that we have no right to hold someone else’s wrongdoing over his head.” (click here for the full article)

In conclusion, yesterday was also actor Tobey Maguire’s birthday.  Tobey is and always will be my Spider-Man.  Interestingly, for all of the negative press 2007’s “Spider-Man 3” receives (some of the negativity it has received is deserved, yet certainly not all, but that’s a blog for another day), this film has a powerful message on the forgiveness.  In one scene, for example, Aunt May counsels a vengeful Peter Parker on the virtue of forgiveness rather than revenge.  She says, “Uncle Ben meant the world to us.  But he wouldn’t want us living one second with revenge in our hearts.  It’s like a poison.  It can take you over.  Before you know it, turn us into something ugly.”

God bless,

Kevin 

Father Day thoughts (Part 2)

I bring my dad up in conversation all the time.  Because he was a special, memorable man of God.  But also because he was quotable.  I’m sure I’ve shared here that Dad used to joke that we live in Colorado, a state that doesn’t have a professional baseball team.  The irony of the joke was the Colorado Rockies, for as hapless as they have been for a long time, they actually made it to the World Series in 2007 (even though they did lose the series).  The Denver Nuggets, meanwhile, never made it to the Finals – until this year where they won their first world championship! 

In the excitement of the Denver Nuggets post-season success, I quoted Dad’s Rockies line to a coworker of mine.  This person had recently lost a father too.  This subsequently opened up a dialogue about how both of our departed father’s had a love for sports, and each would have been thrilled at the Nuggets recent post-season success.

Soon after this conversation, a wave of grief washed over me.  And to be honest with you, as I’ve composed this paragraph, a fresh wave of emotional grief hit me just now.  Dad and I watched the Denver Broncos win Super Bowl 32 securing their first world championship.  It was a different celebration for me when the Broncos won Super Bowl 50; I could feel how empty the room was without him.  I felt very similar ten days ago; when I saw the Nuggets were going to be NBA champions for the first time.  It was bittersweet to celebrate without my dad in the room with me.

My point is it’s been eight years since my dad passed on.  And yes, the intensity of the wound of fatherlessness subsides with time, but I would be lying to you if I claimed that it ever went away.  It’s not just about sports, either.  I was recently praying to God about something, and I concluded that petition with Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 “Thy will be done.”  It occurred to me that I was praying the way my dad had prayed.  Both in his vocational prayer time, as well as his personal prayer time, he often used the same just-cited words of Jesus from Matthew 6.  I proceeded to say something said something like, “Like my father before me often prayed, I too pray ‘Thy will be done.’”

In conclusion, as I get older, the more I contemplate the legacy I will leave behind one day.  I consider the challenge of finishing well, as Dad did.  Hebrews 12:1-2 says, “Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”  My dad would have been the first to declare that it’s not about him; it’s about God.  That’s the way he lived, and I want to follow in that example.

God bless,

Kevin