Choose to forgive

I recently came across a New York Times article, written last year, that confirmed what I’ve already suspected: people are becoming increasingly mean and unkind toward restaurant workers.  Let me just cite a few words from this New York Times article which, by the way, can be found at this link:

“The stories of bad customer behavior began trickling down in the summer of 2020, when businesses that had closed in the early part of the coronavirus pandemic began to reopen to a new, angry mood in the United States.  At a restaurant struggling with staff and restaurant struggling with staff and food storages in Massachusetts, for instance, a group of diners became so furious at the long wait time for food that they demanded it be boxed up – and then theatrically dumped the whole order, uneaten, into the garbage.

“It’s like abuse,” Brandi Felt Castellano, who closed her Cape Cod restaurant for 24 hours to give her weary staff a “day of kindness” break told The Times that [back in] July. “People are always rude to restaurant workers, but this far exceeds anything I’ve seen in my 20 years.””

From my own perch in customer service, I can absolutely confirm this phenomenon.  Just this past year or so, I have witnessed with my own eyes two or three major episodes where customers, not only completely lost their temper right in the store, but they subsequently made a complete speculate of themselves, in a shameful rage.  So be in prayer for us longsuffering souls in the customer service game!

Author and speaker Gary Thomas once made this tremendous statement: “We will either grow in God or grow in bitterness.”  I love that quote, and it’s so true.  There’s enough in the world today that will aid in growing in bitterness.  I’ve highlighted how you might “grow in bitterness” in the customer service realm, but there are other examples.  For instance, I think of marriage.  It’s plain to me that any successful marriage had better have two forgivers (special shout out to my brother and sister-in-law, yesterday, they celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary).  What powerful there is in forgiveness!

The older I get, the more I understand – both experientially and otherwise – the horrific pain that can be inflicted upon a life.  I submit that the only way to be free from this crushing pain is to forgive the offender.  But having stated this, forgiveness can easily be misunderstood.  So I want to take moment to cite an important word from a helpful got questions.org article. 

“It is important to recognize that to forgive is not to downplay a wrongdoing or necessarily to reconcile.  When we choose to forgive, we release a person from his indebtedness to us.  We relinquish the right to seek personal revenge.  We choose to say we will not hold his wrongdoing against him.  However, we do not necessarily allow that person back into our trust” a little later on, this author sums it up well: “Forgiveness does not mean we act as if no wrong has been done; it does mean we recognize that grace abundant has been given to us and that we have no right to hold someone else’s wrongdoing over his head.” (click here for the full article)

In conclusion, yesterday was also actor Tobey Maguire’s birthday.  Tobey is and always will be my Spider-Man.  Interestingly, for all of the negative press 2007’s “Spider-Man 3” receives (some of the negativity it has received is deserved, yet certainly not all, but that’s a blog for another day), this film has a powerful message on the forgiveness.  In one scene, for example, Aunt May counsels a vengeful Peter Parker on the virtue of forgiveness rather than revenge.  She says, “Uncle Ben meant the world to us.  But he wouldn’t want us living one second with revenge in our hearts.  It’s like a poison.  It can take you over.  Before you know it, turn us into something ugly.”

God bless,

Kevin