Monday, February 7, 2011

What about forgiving yourself?

I've been on a “Full House” kick lately.  This is a TV show that ran from 1987 to 1995 starring John Stamos and Bob Saget.  I have the entire series on DVD and I decided to go through it again.  I just watched an episode where the father on that show, Danny Tanner (Saget) made this statement to Stephanie, one of his daughters: “No matter what you do wrong...I am always going to forgive you, because I love you."

At this point in the series Stephanie was six years old.  She had accidentally backed a car into the kitchen!  (Yes, if you were wondering, she did give the obligatory “maybe no one will notice” joke.)  Stephanie felt so bad that she tried to run away from home and move to Mexico.  Of course, it didn’t work; but the point is, she couldn’t forgive herself.  This led to the statement that Danny made about forgiving her, no matter what.  The lesson of the episode, at least for me, was this: what right do we have to hold on to what we’ve done, if the person we’ve hurt has already offered forgiveness?  Let me illustrate this further from another TV show.

Years ago, I watched a show where a boyfriend and girlfriend were going through a rough patch in their dating relationship.  The overarching point is that the girl had done something that she felt was so egregious, she figured her boyfriend would never forgive her.  She spent the whole episode wallowing in pity and guilt.

At the climax of the episode, this couple finally had a conversation.  The girl said something like, “We can't be together anymore.  Not after what I did to you.”  The guy replied, “We can be together, because I forgive you.”  Their relationship was restored!  This girl was intelligent enough to know that if her boyfriend forgave her, she should forgive herself.

Kevin Bauer

(1 John 1:9)

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