The merits of chivalry

Recently I read an interesting article in a periodical debating the subject of chivalry.  They were discussing whether chivalry was a virtue that is a relic from a bygone era, or whether chivalry is still a good custom that should be practiced.  There’s no suspense as to where I fall on this debate because I’ve already spoken about the topic in this blog.  Even so, I wanted to revisit it again.

I say that chivalry should be practiced, even in today’s world.  First of all, when I say ‘chivalry’ I’m referring to men doing things like opening a door for a woman, or giving up a seat for a woman so she doesn’t have to stand anymore, or letting a woman wear your coat so she won’t be cold.  These acts are demonstrations of courtesy, kindness, and politeness.  Ultimately, chivalry is an expression of unselfishness.  I submit that this isn’t something that should be apologized for, but encouraged.

Sadly, however, some men are hesitant to perform acts of chivalry because they don’t know how it will be interpreted by the women around them.  It’s true that some women might be offended when a man opens a door for them, but I don't think that will be the majority.  I think most women will be appreciative of such a gesture.

For example, not too long ago, I heard a teenage girl call in to a radio talk show and essentially state that chivalry is dead.  Technically, chivalry isn’t dead, but from her perspective it is.  She said she is in college and she can’t find a man who will open the door for her at her campus.  Notice she wants to experience male chivalry and apparently she doesn’t.  As a man who enjoys opens the door for a woman, I found this girl’s observations very distressing.

Personally, I perform the basic courtesy of opening a door for several reasons: to be kind, to keep my focus on serving others, and to show a woman that I value her and the female gender as a whole.  Let me put it another way: when I perform an act of chivalry, I’m not implying that women are inferior and weak; to the contrary, I’m communicating a message of how highly I regard women.  I’m attempting to non-verbally convey that every woman deserves to be honored, appreciated, and cherished by men.  Not just on Valentine’s Day or her birthday, but every day.  By the way, for whatever it’s worth, the feedback that I receive for performing chivalrous deeds is overwhelmingly positive.

To sum it all up, I don’t want to hear a teenage girl comment on a radio call-in show that no man will open a door for her.  I think chivalry should be practiced, even today.  I want to be a man who is known for being gallant and thoughtful, so the noticeable absence of chivalry is appalling to me.  So, gentlemen, what do you say we show the women in our lives how much we value and appreciate them by performing a fundamental act of simple politeness?  Don’t let fear stop you.  Let’s practice chivalry.  In so doing, we will show that it is still alive and well.

Kevin