In
my previous blog, I brought up a question that I had apparently seen from a
book title in a grocery story: if I could somehow communicate with my younger self,
what would I say? I mentioned the first
thing. Today I want to
continue on to the second bit of advice I would give.
The
next thing I would say to my young self is this: “Kevin, you will be hurt in
your life. Don’t hold on to the anger,
resentment, and bitterness that comes with that hurt: choose to enjoy the
incredible benefits of forgiveness.”
I
took a stroll down memory lane. I mentally
recalled the major instances where someone deeply hurt me in my life. They may not have physically assaulted me,
but they certainly assaulted me emotionally.
You say, “There’s a fun mental game!
Why torture yourself with dredging up those memories?” But, you see, that’s the word for it. I dredge them up because I don’t live in them
anymore. While it is undeniable that I
have been hurt, I don’t live with the baggage of what these people said to me. Why not?
Because, through the power of forgiveness, I have been set free.
It
is so easy to hold a grudge. It’s easy
to harbor unforgiveness toward the person who hurt you. You even begin to mentally fantasize how you can
pay this person back somehow. Even
though we think this is some sort of whip that injures the person who hurt us,
it isn’t. You are only hurting yourself
by living this way. I remember when I learned this
lesson for myself. I remember when I
extended forgiveness to someone who hurt me the deepest I've ever been hurt; I was liberated.
Someone
wants to ask me this important question: “If you forgive, aren't you letting the other person get away with what they did?”
Not really. For example, let’s
say someone is a victim of rape. I don’t
enjoy bringing up such a dark topic, but this could very well be a real scenario
for someone who reads this. If you were
the victim of such a heinous deed, it would be natural to go the rest of
your life despising the guilty party. You must still extend forgiveness to the person, because if you don’t, you will be
eaten up with rage, hate, and bitterness.
But this doesn’t exonerate the other person from their actions.
Romans
12 says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to God, for it is
written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord”” (verse 19). You see, too many today view God as only a God of love and mercy. While He is certainly that, He is also a God of justice as well. When you forgive this person,
you are essentially refusing to take the matter into your
own hands, and instead placing the situation into God’s capable hands. The Lord knows what happened. Let Him take care of dishing out the
justice to the guilty.
Kevin
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