Thanksgiving thoughts

In 2013, I wrote a Thanksgiving blog that I titled “Thanking God even when life hurts”.  It was appropriate for me to write such a blog back then, and it is certainly appropriate for me to revisit that theme again this year.  Life does hurt.  Quite frankly, I have not been looking forward to the holidays.  To face these beloved holidays without my dad for the first time in my life is a very daunting task.

But as I think about it, even in the midst of a painful 2015, I can still see numerous abundant blessings that God has showered upon me.  For example, there’s an interesting verse tucked away in the book of Daniel.  Daniel 5:23 says that God holds our breath in His hands.  Has 2015 been a difficult year for you?  Are you having trouble compiling a list of things to be thankful for?  How about starting by thanking God that He graciously gives you breath every day?  The Bible declares that it is God Himself who provides breath to humanity.  Incidentally, this is true both for the believer and for the non-believer.

At one point in that 2013 blog, I wrote these words: “But, even in the midst of the turmoil, my faith and trust in God is the thing that sustains me and keeps me going.  Even in the midst of the chaos, I have hope.  I have gratitude in my heart to God.  Why?  Because He alone is in full control, no matter what.  Ephesians 1:11 tells us that God “works out everything in conformity to the purpose of his will.”  Certainly that doesn’t mean that we will always understand why God allows specific things to happen…but, despite this, God’s will, plan, and purpose is superior, and it will ultimately prevail.”

Kevin

The incredible power of words

Last week, due to a sickness, I lost my voice.  It was interesting to try to go about all my responsibilities while not being able to communicate very well.  When you go through something like this it teaches you not to take fully functioning vocal cords for granted.  Believe me, when you compile your Thanksgiving list of things you are thankful for perhaps you should include be able to speak because it really is a gift.

As I was going through all this, I found an interesting Bible verse from the book of Proverbs.  It reads, “The words of the reckless pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).  It’s such a shame that, although we have such a marvelous gift of speech, we often squander it by speaking words that belittle other people.  Unkind words certainly do pierce like a sword.

The Bible gives us this prescription: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).  Speak words that encourage, build up, and help others.  In the midst of my unusual week, someone thanked me for my years of service at Chick-fil-A.  I was so encouraged by those words.  I was inspired afresh to use my tongue to edify others, rather than speaking words that demean, belittle and injure.

Kevin

The surprises of life

Have you ever had a day that unfolds completely differently than the way you originally envisioned it?  This happened to me recently.  I had a day that significantly differed from how I planned it.  I’ll spare you the particulars, but there were three important stops lined up.  One event ended up taking most of the day; another stop was rescheduled altogether; only one ended up unfolding with a semblance of how it was drawn up.  You try to be flexible, and keep in mind that, for better or worse, things don’t always go as you planned that they would.

This is really a good lesson for life as well.  Barry Allen, on the TV show “The Flash” recently said, “Everyone secretly thinks they’ve figured out what their life is going to be like.  But what no one ever considers is that life has its own plans for you; whether you like them or not.  And so you are left with a choice: you can either embrace the change and move forward, or fight it and be left behind.”  I resonated with this quote when I first heard it, so I wrote it out and I refer to it often.  It’s true.  You think you have your life figured out, but something happens, and suddenly, the landscape of your life looks completely different.

If you’ve spent any time with me on this blog before, you know that I wholeheartedly believe in God’s sovereignty, that He is in complete control.  Furthermore, you know full well that I’ve had to rest on the notion of God’s sovereignty as I walk a path of heartache and loss that I never envisioned I would have to walk.  God, in His sovereign will, knew that my life was going to change dramatically in 2015.  But rather than angrily shake my fist at God, I find it’s better to bow to His will, even – perhaps I should say especially – if His will includes pain.  

Kevin

Thoughts on two weekend sports events

Last night was quite a memorable sports night!  To begin with, the Denver Broncos defeated the Green Bay Packers on Sunday Night Football by a score of 29-10.  But that score is a bit misleading.  It felt like the final score was 39-3.  Denver dominated in every facet of the game.  The Broncos offense racked up over 500 yards; the Broncos defense limited that potent Packers offense to something like 140 total yards.  Aaron Rodgers threw for 77 yards (the lowest of his career).  In short, it was a great game for the Denver Broncos!

Some people might disagree with me, but I think that Broncos victory was a statement game.  Many didn’t expect Denver to win this game.  In fact, the Packers were favored to win.  My take was that the Packers were (and are) a very formidable opponent.  I saw this game as a chance to gauge just how good the Broncos really are.  They came out and played their best game of the year.  The Broncos made a clear statement last night.  They said that they are for real.  They said that they are a legitimate Super Bowl contender.

Speaking of world championships, congratulations to the Kansas City Royals!  They came from behind last night and ultimately defeated the New York Mets 7-2 (in 12 innings).  This win gave the Royals their first World Series victory in 30 years.  I’m so impressed with the Royals.  They never gave up, no matter how bleak things may have looked at times, they continued to fight to the end.  They showed such tenacity, determination, and perseverance.

Many have pointed to the Mets decision to keep pitcher Matt Harvey in the game in the 9th inning, when clearly the initial plan was to go to the bullpen.  Harvey talked his way into the pitching the 9th and he proceeded to give up two runs in that inning to tie the game.  It’s easy to assign blame now, but that’s only because of the benefit of hindsight.  The way I look at it, the Royals would have found a way to win, regardless of the pitcher they were facing.  They were relentless.  So, once again, congratulations to the Royals!

Kevin

Remembering an interesting day

I missed blogging about it on the actual day, but October 21st was ‘Back to the Future Day.’  It was dubbed this because in the movie “Back to the Future: Part 2” Marty McFly (played by Michael J. Fox) and Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) traveled to the future.  They jumped forward from the year 1985 to October 21, 2015.  It is comical how wrong the filmmakers were in their projection of how the future was going to be.  Yes, they got some things right (for example, 3D technology was a major presence in Back to the Future’s version of 2015; that one was certainly predicted correctly), but by and large, they were very wrong; I could list 15 examples of this.

One of the aspects of the 2015 in “Back to the Future” that many people found fascinating in the days leading up to 10/21 was the Chicago Cubs.  In the movie, Marty is surprised by an announcement that the Chicago Cubs had won the World Series.  They had swept the Miami Gators to win a world championship.  Incidentally, that’s one thing the film was correct on: when the movie came out there was no Major League baseball team in Miami.  But there is now.  It’s not the Miami Gators, it’s the Miami Marlins.  Plus, the Marlins are a National League team, meaning the Cubs couldn’t play them in the World Series, but still, that’s a point for the writers for getting that prediction correct.

The reason this was so interesting is because in real life the Chicago Cubs were trying very hard to fulfill the “Back to the Future” prophecy.  The Cubs made it all the way to the NLCS (National League Championship Series).  Unfortunately, the Cubs were unable to advance to the World Series.  The New York Mets played the role of spoiler for millions of “Back to the Future” fans by defeating the Cubbies.  Ironically, it was on ‘Back to the Future Day’ that the Mets defeated the Cubs 8-3 to complete a sweep of the Cubs and advance to the World Series.  The fact that they were swept is significant because, once again, in the film the Cubs had swept the Miami Gators.  In real life, they were swept by the Mets.  And sadly, the heartache longsuffering Cubs fans continues.

Another thing that I find fascinating is the team that the New York Mets will be playing in the World Series.  The Kansas City Royals defeated the Toronto Blue Jays to advance to the big game.  The last time the Royals won the World Series was back in October of 1985 (someone may want to point out that the last time the Royals were in the World Series was just last year.  It’s true.  But they haven’t actually won it since the 80’s.).  I’m bringing all this up because my dad was born and raised in Kansas City.  With all due respect to Mets fans, I’m rooting for the Royals.  If Kansas City does win the World Series, it might even make my dad smile in Heaven.  Who knows?

Kevin

A liberating fact

Not long ago, I was reminded of a special episode on the TV show “Home Improvement” starring Tim Allen as Tim Taylor.  John Binford, the man who gave Tim a job as the main star of “Tool Time” passed away unexpectedly.  John was not only Tim’s boss, but he was also a father figure to him.  This was a big deal because Tim Taylor’s dad passed away when he was 11 years old.  Jill, Tim’s wife, grieved by shedding many tears; Tim however wasn’t crying.  Jill was frustrated at Tim’s lack of emotion.  So, as usual when he didn’t know what to do, Tim talked to his faceless neighbor, Wilson (OK, technically he isn’t faceless; but it is true that you never saw Wilson’s face on the show, it was covered from view, usually by the fence).

Tim confessed to Wilson, “When my dad died, I remember being really sad, but I don’t remember crying.”  At one point in their conversation, Wilson said, “Tim, you have to find a way to grieve.”  And Tim did just that.  I find this episode fascinating.  One of the things I think it illustrates is a very important and liberating fact: everyone grieves differently.

In the early days after my dad’s passing, the funeral home gave me a book written by David Kessler entitled “When a Parent Dies: Dealing with the Loss of your Mother or Father”.  At one point in the book, Kessler wrote, “Some of us tend to feel that our way of grieving is the right way.  We think others should grieve like we do.  Regardless of the grief we feel, we usually fall toward one end of the pendulum or the other.  We are either “grieving the right way (our way)” or judging ourselves that we are grieving the wrong way.”

I have encountered some well-meaning people who prescribe what they feel is the correct way to grieve.  No, they haven’t had the audacity to declare, “Kevin, you aren’t grieving correctly,” but they have still sent me the message that I had better experience this and that in my grief, otherwise, something is wrong.  I disagree.  I think this is an incorrect mindset.

If you go down this path, you can easily frustrate yourself because you’ll be tempted to compare yourself with others.  For example, a friend of mine lost his father and he said for a long period of time - five years - he couldn’t bear the thought of hearing his dad’s voice.  This differed from my own grieving experience.  But that doesn’t mean that my friend was wrong and I was right, it simply reinforces the idea that everyone grieves in their own way.  As Kessler put it in another part of the book, “the truth is that our grief is as individual as our lives.”

Kevin

A patently absurd notion

There’s a notion floating around in Christian circles that I don’t agree with.  The concept is as follows: if you are going through a trial, it must be something that you can adequately handle on your own, because God, as the teaching goes, will never give a Christian more than they can bear.  Once again, I disagree with this assertion.  I think such a statement is patently absurd.

The verse that many people quote as proof of this concept is 1 Corinthians 10:13.  This verse reads, “No temptation has overtaken you except as is common to man; but God is faithful.  He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (NKJV).  But this verse is speaking about temptation, not trials.  Let me elaborate.

We are being told that God won’t allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able.  In times of temptation, the promise of the Word of God is, God will make a way of escape (whether we choose to avail ourselves of that escape is another matter, but that’s a blog topic for another day).  My point here is that 1 Corinthians 10:13, and its context, is speaking of resisting temptation, not on the severity of the trials of life.  Make no mistake: God will absolutely allow you to experience trials that are much more than you can bear.

Why should we think otherwise?  Tell Job that God won’t allow you to experience trials that are too much to endure.  Tell the families of the victims who were brutally slain in Oregon earlier this month - in another tragic school shooting - that God won’t allow you to experience a trial that is too much to bear.  Tell this to the couple who will never meet their child because he or she was a stillborn.  Tell this to the widow who enjoyed marriage with the love of her life for forty years, but now has to live life feeling as if an integral part of her as been torn away (yes, I am talking about my mom losing my dad).

I will say it again: God will allow us to go through crushing, intense, unbearable trials; trials that are much more than we can bear on our own.  Why?  To drive us to Him!  C.S. Lewis once said, “Pain insists upon being attended to.  God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” 

Kevin