Real love

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!  Some of you might think that you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because you are not in a romantic relationship; I beg to differ.  The truth is anyone can celebrate Valentine’s Day.  I say this because Valentine’s Day is a holiday that is all about elevating the virtue of love.

Let me quickly clarify something lest I’m misunderstood.  When I speak of love, I am speaking of a selfless, giving love.  Our culture today has blurred the lines between what real love is and what lust is.  For instance, you watch a TV sitcom today, or a movie or something like that, and you see that a man and woman meet for the very first time, and in the very next scene (or at least very soon in the relationship) they are in bed together having indulged in a carnal sexual experience.  I submit to you that this wasn’t a love scene as many would label it; this was simply what I’m going to call a lust scene.  What’s the difference?  The late preacher, Dr. Adrian Rogers once put it this way: “love wants to give; lust wants to get.”

The Bible says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us” (1 John 3:16).  John is saying, “Do you want an example of real love?  Look at what Jesus did on the cross for you and me.”  In other words, just as Christ’s substitutionary death on the cross was out of nothing but pure love for us, we show love by sacrifice, unselfishness, and consideration for others wellbeing.

Therefore, let’s go back to my example of the man and woman that has just met.  The couple desires sex, but real love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4).  Real love is willing to wait.  Yes, I’m certainly saying that singles shouldn’t have sex until marriage as God says in His Word (see Hebrews 13:4), but I’m also saying that this applies to a married couple.   At times, your spouse may not desire sex.  For example, it's become a joke, but "not tonight, honey, I have a headache" is actually a legitimate reason for a married couple not to have sex.  Real love says, “I’m going to choose to put your needs ahead of my own.”

Kevin