"Perchance to Dream" - birthday blog for 2018

I recently had one of those “Wow, I’m getting older” moments.  Last year, the classic TV show, “Batman: the Animated Series” celebrated its 25th anniversary.  It was in 1992 that this amazing show debuted.  I remember with fondness when this show was first on TV.  One website was spot-on when they said: “Over the last 25 years, there have been six Batman movies, multiple cartoons, dozens of toys, at least one massively successful video game franchise, and countless comic books.  But it was Batman: The Animated Series – which premiered Sept. 5, 1992 – that provided this era’s definitive version of the Dark Knight” (Source: http://ew.com/tv/batman-animated-series-episodes-ranked/).

This article goes on to showcase their list of 25 best “Batman: the Animated Series” episodes.  Several websites have similar lists of their favorites.  Every single one of the lists I came across mentions an episode called “Perchance to Dream”.  Rightly so, this is an excellent episode.  It is in my top 5 of best “Batman: the Animated Series” episodes ever made.

 

In the episode, Bruce Wayne wakes up to find that his life is completely different.  His parents are alive; he is engaged to Selina Kyle; and someone else has taken on the role of being Batman.  In essence, he is trapped inside a prison of a life of his heart’s desire.  But he refuses the fantasy, and he escapes (quite ingeniously, I might add).  The same article I cited from earlier has an intriguing comment on this episode.  He states, “Bruce doesn’t give into this temptation and rejects this world, choosing his dark crusade instead, which is one of the most heroic and heartbreaking things we’ll ever see him do on the show” (http://ew.com/tv/batman-animated-series-episodes-ranked/#6-perchance-to-dream-season-2-episode-1).  I wholeheartedly agree.

Today is my birthday.  Thinking about this marvelous Batman episode made me stop and ask myself this question: What would I do if I were introduced to a dream world like Bruce Wayne was in that episode?  Would I have the character to reject the fantasy and choose the harder life?  As I think about my life, I won’t sugarcoat it: sometimes my life is difficult.  The unexpected passing of my father almost three years ago changed my life.  I was the one that needed to pick up his torch and to shoulder the responsibilities he carried.  In short, my life has turn out differently than I ever could have imagined.  But I want to live this life because it is the life God has for me.

Kevin

Two heads are better than one

How time flies!  It was 10 years ago today that my brother, Mark, married his bride, my sister-in-law, Tiffany.  I remember the day like it was yesterday.  I had the great privilege of being Mark’s best man the day that we welcomed Tiffany into the Bauer family.

I wanted to include the vows that Mark said in the wedding.  Incidentally, Tiffany said the same words, except for the beginning.  “I, Mark, take you, Tiffany, to be my lawfully wedded wife; my constant friend; my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward.  In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow: to be your faithful partner, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow.  I promise to love you unconditionally; to support you in your goals; to honor and respect you; to laugh with you and cry with you; and to cherish you, for as long as we both shall live.”

At one point in Mark and Tiffany’s wedding, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 was quoted.  It reads, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.  Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.  And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  The old saying is true: two heads are certainly better than one.  Congratulations on your 10th anniversary, Mark and Tiffany.

Kevin

When God says "no"

There are times in life when God says “no” to something that you wanted.  This was something that you felt was reasonable, but He mysteriously chooses to decline your request.  I could cite several illustrations of this in my life, but let me give you just one example. 

Today at work, I learned that a coworker of mine recently got engaged.  While I’m certainly very happy for her, she is probably 20 or 21 years old (although I’m guessing on this; I don’t ask a female her age).  Her life story is to get engaged in her 20’s.  By contrast, I’m turning 37 next week, and I’ve never been married, or engaged.  It doesn’t mean that I’ll never be married, but to this point anyway, God has said “no” to this desire.

How should you respond when God says “no” to you?  Actually, I addressed this in a blog back in January of 2012.  In a blog I titled “God’s ways and man’s ways” I began by talking about how there are times in my life when God chose to go in a different direction than I anticipated.  And then I said these words:

“Have you ever been there?  You thought God was going to go one way, but instead He went in another way altogether, and it shocked you.  What do we do in these situations when God makes absolutely no sense to us?  In Isaiah 55, God says, 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways…as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways.' 

I own a precious cat named Belle.  She is my faithful companion.  Wherever I go, she goes.  Recently, I was playing a video game and, of course, Belle was right there with me watching me play.  It occurred to me that my cat had absolutely no idea why I was holding a controller and looking so intently at a TV screen.  Furthermore, if I stopped and explained to her what I was doing or why I was doing it, she wouldn’t get it.  My thoughts and ways are higher than hers.  I think that’s an example of how we are with the Lord.  If God stopped and explained what He was doing and why He was doing it, we wouldn’t comprehend a single word of it.

In those times when I became perplexed, even angry, at the way God is moving in my life, I have discovered that the best thing to do is to submit to His way.  One of my favorite preachers, Michael Youssef, recently said in a sermon that when God’s plan differs from ours, the best course of action is to realize that God’s plan is far superior.”  

I conclude by stating that I affirm once again today what I did back in 2012: God’s way is best.  I trust Him and His plan for me. 

Kevin

Father's Day, 2018 - Unforgettable

Way back in 1952, Nat King Cole performed a song written by Gordon Irving.  I want to dedicate it to my dad.  The song says, “Unforgettable, that’s what you are; unforgettable, though near or far.  Like a song of love that clings to me, how the thought of you does things to me…Unforgettable in every way, and forever more that’s how you’ll stay.”  https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/natkingcole/unforgettable.html

Whether you are talking about his faithfulness to God and his family, his genuine humility, his meticulous attention to detail, or his incredible sense of humor that no one else can ever duplicate, my dad Jerry Bauer, is unforgettable.  He is with Jesus in Heaven, but he will also be in my heart forever.  His example of love and selflessness remains with me to emulate and inspire.

Unforgettable

Happy Father’s Day!  

"Passing the torch"

In 1993, a TV show called “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers” premiered.  The popularity of this show cannot be overstated.  One website puts it this way: “Mighty Morphin’ Powers Rangers is one of the few shows in the 90’s that managed to become so ubiquitous, so iconic, that it transcended its medium to become a full pop culture phenomenon” (source: https://unwinnable.com/2012/11/23/mighty-morphin-cultural-phenomenon/).  How very true.

In the middle of that first season, a new character was introduced.  His name was Tommy Oliver.  Originally, he was an evil Power Ranger, thanks to the spell that was put on him by Rita Repulsa (the main villain of the first season).  When the spell was broken, he was offered the chance to fight alongside the other Rangers, and defeat Rita.  He accepted.  As time went on, he proved to be a valuable ally.  So much so, he was eventually promoted to be the leader of the Power Rangers.  Years passed; his teammates changed, as did the weapons, and the version of the Ranger powers as well, but Tommy remained the faithful warrior.  One website was apt when it described Tommy as “a legend among the Ranger community” (http://powerrangers.wikia.com/wiki/Tommy_Oliver).

But ultimately, the time came for Tommy – and the rest of his veteran teammates – to retire.  In an episode titled “Passing the Torch”, Tommy chose a valiant young man named T.J. to be his successor, and new leader of the Power Rangers.

 

I can relate to some of the feelings that T.J. must have been feeling.  I say this because almost three years ago, my dad finished his race.  He passed the torch to me.  Like Tommy, my dad is considered a legend.  How do you take over for a legend?  Every day I feel the weight of the solemn responsibility of carrying the torch, and walking in the footprints that Dad walked.

To conclude, I’m strangely comforted by the fact that T.J.’s Ranger team was an impressive team.  No, T.J. couldn’t be Tommy; that would be impossible and unreasonable to expect.  But the next season – “Power Rangers: in Space” is one of my favorite seasons of Power Rangers.  Just thinking about that season makes me want to watch that epic adventure again.  T.J. and the team served in a way that would have made Tommy proud.  This parallels the call in my life to carry the torch and serve with humility, courage, and nobility.

Kevin  

My grief on Father's Day week

Longtime readers of this blog will understand why I titled this blog what I did, but if you are new, let me briefly explain.  Next month will mark three years since my dad unexpectedly passed away; he was just 60 years old.  Because of this fact, Father’s Day is a difficult day for me.

I’ve been re-reading a helpful little booklet entitled “When a Parent Dies: Dealing with the Loss of Your Mother or Father” by David Kessler.  He writes, “Our society places enormous pressure on us to get over loss, to get through the grief.  But how long do you grieve for the man who was your father for 30 years?  Do you grieve less for your mother of 50 years? The loss happens in a moment, but its aftermath lasts a lifetime.”

This notion was addressed in the fifth season of the TV show “Smallville”.  In a shocking episode, Jonathan Kent suffers a heart attack that tragically ends his life.  Fascinatingly, in the very next episode of the series, despite enduring the turmoil of his dad’s passing, Clark seems to think he should already be over it.  He confesses to the first love of his life, Lana Lang, “I know I should be able to move on, but life without him doesn’t feel real.”  Lana, who knows something about grief herself (she lost both of her parents when she was just a girl), replies with one of the best lines on mourning a loved one in the early days I’ve ever heard.  She says, “It’s like you’re frozen, and the whole world is going on around you.”

Three years later, waves of grief can still hit me and remind me of the enormity of my loss.  For example, recently I wanted to put on a film that was light and innocuous.  I had just purchased a movie about two dogs and a cat for five dollars in a bargain bin at Walmart.  So I played it.  When the end credits rolled, I heard Dad’s voice in my head.  He always used to say, “That was a good movie” with a sappy, sentimental tone of voice, as the credits rolled.  This was his way of saying that he enjoyed the film because it was an animal movie (a genre he loved) that was particularly gripping.  This memory made me cry.  To quote Kessler’s words again: “The loss happens in a moment, but its aftermath lasts a lifetime.”

Kevin

The week leading up to Father's Day

In acknowledgment of the fact that Father’s Day is this Sunday, I have some things I want to say.  At this point, I don’t know how many blogs I will submit this week, but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about the subject of fathers and Father’s Day.

For today, I wanted to share that I recently saw an episode of the TV show “Father Knows Best” that I thought was apropos.  For the uninformed, this was a TV show that premiered way back in 1954 (interestingly, this is the year that my own father was born).  It featured the Anderson family: Jim and Margaret, the parents; and their three children Betty, Bud, and Kathy.

In the episode, the local newspaper had announced a contest to nominate the “father of the year” by asking children to compose a 25-word essay stating why they believed their father deserved the honor.  The episode began with the Anderson children thinking about what they were going to write regarding their father.  They were having trouble with exactly what to say.  This was made worse when the older children each got angry with Jim over decisions he had made regarding two separate situations.  They felt he was being unfair, but they were the ones who were in the wrong (it is a show called “Father Knows Best” after all!).  As the story progressed, both children saw their dad’s wisdom.

So, in the end, the children surprised their dad by sharing that they wrote these words for the contest: “We think that our father, James Anderson, should be named Father of the Year because he’s our guidepost on the road of life.  Although when we stray from paths he’s marked so right, he doesn’t say ‘I told you so.’”  I confess that I got misty-eyed as I heard these words of honor being read to Jim.

I suspect that there is someone who has read this, and inwardly you are contending that this episode is presenting an unrealistic version of fatherhood.  I concede that the Anderson children’s essay was so complimentary that they almost paint their dad as a perfect model.  The thought is nice, but fact of the matter is even James Anderson isn’t a perfect father.  Furthermore, there is no such thing.  Certainly there are fathers who are worthy of honor (and by the way, if you have such a dad, I encourage you to tell him), but you won’t find a perfect father; not on TV, and not in real life.

Perhaps your relationship with your earthly father is more adversary than supporter.  It’s sad, but I know this is possible.  But, in my mind, the Anderson’s essay actually points us to God.  You say, “You lost me.  What are you talking about?”  Did you know that Jesus, the unique Son of God, repeatedly called God “Heavenly Father”?  Check out Matthew 6, for example, and see how often this designation is given in that chapter alone.  The Psalmist said, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me” (Psalm 27:10).  Run to God, the “Heavenly Father”.  He will embrace, accept, and receive you with open arms.

Kevin

Perhaps the biggest objection to forgiveness

Before moving on to something else, I wanted to submit one last installment on the subject of forgiveness – and thus complete the trilogy.  Somebody has read what I’ve had to say in the previous two blogs, and you have this objection: “I can’t forgive because to do so would mean that I would have to reconcile with my offender.  I can’t switch from treating the person who hurt me as a trusted friend rather than an enemy.”  This is a misunderstanding of forgiveness.

I recently heard author and speaker Deborah Pegues talk about this on a “Focus on the Family” interview.  She said to extend forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that you will reconcile with your offender.  You might do so, but if the person isn’t trustworthy or repentant, you don’t have to endeavor to become best friends with them.  I say she is absolutely right.  In fact, in some cases, to reconcile with the offender may be the worst possible idea.  Let me illustrate this:

On the TV show “The Flash”, Barry Allen’s mother, Nora, was murdered when Barry was just 11 years old.  It takes many years (14 to be exact), but eventually the culprit is tracked down, and pays for this horrible deed.  In the aftermath, in season 2, it becomes apparent that Barry is still struggling with bitterness against the person who ended his mother’s life.  He comes to the point where he realizes that he has to forgive.  In a memorable scene, he declares aloud that he is choosing forgiveness.  As he does so, healing tears stream down Barry's face.  Question: does this mean that Barry should then become best buddies with the person who took his mother’s life?  Should he trust him?  Not in this case.  Nora Allen’s murderer showed no remorse, repentance, or guilt over this terrible act of violence.  Barry chose to forgive for his own emotional well-being.

Got questions.org has an excellent resource on this.  I wish I could cite the whole article, but I won’t.  At one point in the work, the author states, “However, if by “forgive and forget” one means, “I will act as if the sin never occurred and live as if I don’t remember it,” then we can run into trouble.  For example, a rape victim can choose to forgive the rapist, but that does not mean she should act as if that sin never happened.  To spend time alone with the rapist, especially if he is unrepentant, is not what Scripture teaches.  Forgiveness involves not holding a sin against a person any longer, but forgiveness is different from trust.”  

(Source: https://www.gotquestions.org/forgive-forget.html)

You say, “These are extreme examples you are giving.”  True.  Nevertheless the underlying point remains the same: as Pastor Rick Ferguson once put it: even if the offender doesn’t deserve it and never even asks for it, we are still to forgive them.  The alternative – harboring unforgiveness – is to live a life where you are consumed by revenge, bitterness, and hostility.  In the film “Batman Forever”, Bruce Wayne counseled a seething Dick Grayson that if he was willing to take a life, he would “wake up one terrible morning and realize that revenge has become your whole life.”   Choose forgiveness.  The alternative is bitter fruit that you don’t want to taste.

Kevin